How To Be A LadyI've heard this very wise person said, "Being a woman does not automatically make one a lady."Being a lady has many benefits: A return of kindness from others, respect, honour, treatment of you like a princess (or queen). Your man treats you like royalty, and not just him, but every male in your life. You will have created a more pleasant world not just for yourself but everyone around you. You will gain a relaxed ease of knowing - whether conscious or by instinct- how to go about your day, get around in life.
A Little History Back in the day, where only the royals and privileged cousins who lived in the castles are taught 'how to behave in royal courts'. It was there where the art of 'how to be a lady' has been studied, polished and refined. They had guidelines on who should speak first and whom should be spoken to, the way they stood, how they dressed, how would be behave in the presence of the king. In the book of Esther in the Bible, when a new queen was to be chosen, the king had a person in charge. He was to advise what they would wear, eat, how they would behave and present themselves to the king, from which the king himself would choose his new queen. (Esther of course was a wise woman and chose to allow herself to be shaped by this man, who of course, knew what the king favoured. She was later chosen and became queen.)
In Marie Anoinette the movie, it was reflected the customs in those days that lower ranking courtiers had to be spoken to by those of higher ranks, like the Queen. Later on, as education became more available and wealth among people grew, it quickly established many wealthy aristocrat families, whose education and exposure to the finer things in life influenced their manners.
As society grew wealthier and educated, charm and finishing schools were established to train girls to becoming ladies, in hopes of attracting suitable, promising gentlemen. The Fading Art As the world evolved and experienced many breakthroughs in medicine, technology and information, many people quickly became extremely wealthy through these discoveries known as the 'new money'. While many 'old money' - those money in the family have been there for more than three generations - soon lost their wealth through vices or had their cash tied up in high maintenance properties, they slowly faded into the background and lost their influence as society welcomed their new darlings. The Newly Rich, although having the means to live like royals, have not had enough time and experience to developed the kind of manners passed down and inherited by the royals and aristocrats. That does not seem to matter because they are being treated like royalty and therefore, may not have placed enough value of such graces. The Newly Rich destroyed our unwilling invisibly imposed "caste system" and pretty much the way of the royal life - all of monarchy, and while we applaud them, we threw the baby away along with the dirty bath water... our manners. The new media revolution with televisions and computers installed into every home projected this over-eager acceptance of such behaviour. This can be seen of celebrities and socialites which are media darlings. This sense of entitlement - that it is acceptable to be rude if you are 'someone', to be demanding, to flaunt their wealth and to place too much importance of materials and not enough on feelings of others. What we see, read and hear about today much influenced the values of current society. Being a Lady Today What it means to truly be a lady is almost lost among the sea of messages of what one wears, what one talks about, who she hangs out with or where they dine, holiday, hang out. Perhaps I am so thoroughly inspired when I meet the rare breed of a beautiful lady that I desire it, I obsess and study it and I write about it now, slowly breaking down what I see, read and look to the past to try to conceive why it was set. Etiquette rules are not written for you to memorize but rather it births from a kind thought. In the sense, it was written to answer the ultimate question, "What is the kindest way of doing this?" where one considers others, how it may communicate, whether it might be offensive so on and so forth.
It is my goal to break it down to bite size pieces where while I am not perfect, continue to practice as though I were, and one day when the 'mask' is removed, I would find myself the woman I dream to be. To Be A Lady Is To Have An Elegant Heart Being a lady is simply nothing more than extended manners to every part of your being, a way to be kind, and an organized way to go about your life and interacting with people. Manners are kindness. Being a lady is being the kindest woman in the room. It is true elegance. A Learned Art Being a lady does not come naturally. All of us have to learn how to be one. A good example is the training of a Geisha. If you have time, watch 'Memoirs of a Geisha' or read the book. While I'm not advocating training yourself to entertain a man, train yourself because it is who you want to be. I am certain your Man will be greatly appreciate it!
I love how Candice Simpson-giles.describes being a lady:(Abridged version) "Manners, attitudes, appropriate dress and social mores have changed so dramatically that the definition of being a lady has left everyone confused. A lady by today's definition knows that educating herself in every way possible, from higher education to the common sense manners, empowers her to become a woman of accomplishment and poise. She knows it is not her dress size or the money she possess that brings her satisfaction in life. A lady knows that beauty and wealth can be fleeting, but her inner character is the measure by which others will ultimately judge her as a person. Her courtesies, the high esteem in which she holds herself and others, and her sincere words of praise and thoughtfulness will reflect her strong values and place her ahead in the minds and hearts of those who know her. Being thought of as a "lady" may be the one of the highest compliments a woman can receive in her life. " To be continued.. Click here go back to the top. Click here to see how to identify a lady. Traits of a Lady Click here to see how to identify a lady. Traits of a Lady Part Two Click here to see how to identify a lady. Traits of a Lady Part Three Click here to see how to identify a lady. Traits of a Lady Part Four Click here to read more about Grooming for ladies Click here to read how gestures may ruin your elegant appearance Click here to read how what it means to be an accomplished lady back in Jane Austen's time to respectable, wealthy men.
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