A Lady's Etiquette

My interest is elegant living and lifestyle and a refined sort of womanhood, more so than the subject of etiquette.

However, it is a subject very much in tuned with elegance. I for one do not enjoy rules and I've never believed in governing through rules. I've always believed in guarding your heart, changing the inside rather than adjusting the outside to get the effect.

So here I go, tackling just the very basics of etiquette, only pausing to refer to Miss Manners or Emily Post just to grab a second opinion on what I've researched from personal experience, observation, interviews, film history and lessons indirectly gleamed from history, traditional princess training, finishing and charm schools and old books from great authors like Jane Austen.

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Etiquette From Wikipedia

"Etiquette is a code of behavior that influences expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms within a society, social class, or group.

Rules of etiquette are usually unwritten, but aspects of etiquette have been codified from time to time.

Rules of etiquette encompass most aspects of social interaction in any society, though the term itself is not commonly used. A rule of etiquette may reflect an underlying ethical code, or it may reflect a person's fashion or status."

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Manners Vs Etiquette

I'm not a huge fan of etiquette though I believe it has its place. The reason being is etiquette seems to be a bunch of rules. However, it is often forgotten that they originated from having having manners.

You may read my article about Manners

Though I much prefer "manners", for the sake of the word and easy reference, I will be referring to the word 'etiquette' in my new few sections of this website, just as a code to comment and remark about style and code of suggested topics.

Etiquette Rules 101

# To think for others before yourself

# Make feel others at ease

# To be kind

Etiquette Tips

# Always ask yourself, "What is the kindest way possible of doing this thing?"

# Etiquette is not putting others first such that you completely do not think of yourself.

# Etiquette rules should not be memorized because it is completely miserable doing so. It should be birth out of a kind and gracious spirit.

# In other words, etiquette rules should be 'realized' and 'caught' or 'taught'.

# Etiquette differs from country to country and cultures sometimes due to language and social norms differences. Respect that and make a point to learn and accept every culture

# When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Don't compare, don't criticize.

# Social etiquette is the most important because it is about people and when it is about people, it is about the feelings of people.

Etiquette Questions

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Final Etiquette Tip

To improve your awareness of etiquette or to achieve excellent manners, expose yourself to as many refined persons in your life as you can. They are often passionate about their word, kind, arty or have a sense of the arts, music, film. They are usually well groomed, educated, proper beings in a greater sense of the word.

If you do not have access to such a world, study movies and try to pick out the most elegant of them, read about them, study their words when they give an interview, learn about what they are about.

It is better to be inspired and to have elegance and etiquette rub off you than to spend a lovely afternoon with a stuffy old etiquette book that cannot update itself as quickly as the world evolves.

Start with a visual inspiration, a memory, a role model. Start with the most earnest of your desire of your heart.

All the best, dearest readers!

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