Traits of A Lady

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At the end of the day, I'll rather be acquainted with someone who laughs a little too loud and heartily, or knocks tea cups over because of her clumsiness than someone who is quick to accuse or boast, amongst a many other things that result from a mean spirit.

A lady never rushes.

It is terribly hard not to rush especially when life gets busier these days. I find myself rushing whenever I do not allocate a sufficient amount of time to get things done. For instance, I constant underestimate the time to get dressed or flag a cab.

These days, I set timers on my phone, or have a goal to arrive early so I can indulge some extra time reading my novel.

If you feel you are rushing around, your housework or health or appearance, is neglected, you are either:

- doing too much and need to simplify- or you do not have reliable 'systems' or routines to help you get your house in order, gain a better health, a convenient way of getting dressed etc. She is gentle.

She is never rude. It does not matter if the person is a nobody.

She treats everyone with equal respect.

She does not flatter, namedrop, apple polish a person just because he drives a flashy car or appear to be well connected. She is kind to everyone no matter what 'social standing'. Though she treats everyone the same, she chooses her friends wisely based on her personal choice of her social life.

She is tasteful and careful when she is speaking these types of men: a friend's boyfriend, a married man or a business associate or client.

She maintains a respectful distance of friendliness.

A lady makes effort to present herself properly in appearance.

She also cares not just for her outside appearance but makes effort to increase her inner beauty

She makes effort to be healthy, to eat well, sleep well and get regular exercise, and not take health and youth for granted. A result of a discipline of character.

She never asks anyone when they are going to get married or when are the kids coming.

She never assumes anything.

A lady keeps to her appointments

Remember the time where we all didn't have mobile phones. If we made an appointment for someone, say Lunch at 1 pm on Saturday at a restaurant, it was made at least half a week ago, and everyone stuck to it. You could depend on it for the other person to turn up, punctual at exact location and time as when you both agreed to in the first place. With the conveniences of emails, blackberries, mobile phones, this integrity of socializing has been compromised.

Last minute cancellations, changing details to the very last minute, sometimes even a couple of hours before, or you'll find yourself waiting at 1 pm when at 1:15pm you'll receive a text message to say that your friend is going to be late...

While all the above is now common practice and even acceptable , I want to say that I do appreciate people who phone at least 2-3 days before to make a date with you, and then confirm it again probably the day before, and you can depend on him and yourself to keep it your promises.

In fact, I want to be that person.

It's not about etiquette. It is consideration of the other person.

You do not assume that the person is sitting at home all day without anything to do. You respect the other person's time and you value her company and not just adjust your life according to only your convenience.

While its often unfair, I merely have to accept that most people are conditioned by the conveniences of society and I urge everyone not to take offense should you've also been one of the 'victims'!

Let us not look to others, screw up our noses in disgust when other people's manners do not match ours but only look to ourselves and inspire this excellent behaviour in us and our children!

While she is meek, she stands up for herself, her friends and family if she has to.

She will not be shy away from objection. She merely states her objections or gives her protest.

If someone cuts into her queue, she is not afraid to tap the person on the shoulder to say, "I'm sorry, but I believe I was here first."

When angered, she will not give in to ugly emotions and retort with unkind words, insult, ridicule.

She will try to be as fair and keep her emotions in control as possible, stating her reasons as calmly as possible. If the matter goes out of control, she takes her leave and come back to it when both parties have a little time off.

She is responsible.

If entrusted a secret, a child, a dog, she takes care of it to the best of her ability or keep the strictest confidence. She stays at home if she has a cold, or will not drive if she suspects if she has too much to drink. If she borrows her friend's car, she returns it cleaned with the petrol tank full (or with the parking money topped up).

She returns borrowed items for a week and in good order. If she breaks something, she replaces it immediately.

No matter what life throws her, she never behaves like a victim.

She does not indulge in self-pity and does not drag dark clouds around her by telling her sorry stories. If she has to, she relates them in a matter-of-fact manner, downplaying the emotions and keeping the details short. She rises above the pressure.

She is composed.

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