It is a rainy morning right now and when it pours here, it is pretty much a storm.
Strangely, all this rain is making me nostalgic. I’m dressed in a grey silk blouse with a cream skirt and keeping warm and cosy in a navy cardigan.
I just ended a morning lecture (I’m a lecturer/tutor) and I’m having my favourite breakfast with a cup of tea. I decided to write the newsletter now, instead of making the long trek to my office. I just posted a picture of my not-so-elegant school canteen, which you can see on my twitter.
Quite a few things that has recently happened on the personal front, and I’ve have had to make a few decisions. Decision-making is not my forte! I’ve struggled with it since I was a child and I struggle with it now.
Do you know what I struggle with? I struggle alot because I’m too nice. I’m not saying I’m a nice person, but I’m the sort that find it hard to say no to people in general, and harder to say no to people I love.
I don’t want to disappoint them or make them sad or angry. In the end, it turns around and bites me in the end! I wonder what will become of me when I have children in the future…
Because of that, I find myself often stuck in compromised situations that in the end, doesn’t satisfy anyone or make them truly happy. I think I have a lot of changing to do. I have to strengthen my resolve to make the right choices and stick to my guns.
People like me in a way are easily manipulated. Put me on a guilt trip, make me feel bad about myself and I become vulnerable…and it is easier to get what you want out of me. How many women are like me? I think there are many….I admire the strong women who are naturally assertive yet firm and elegant at the same time.
In some ways, I also admire women who couldn’t care less about others …. they are direct and almost brutal. I’m not talking about those who are unnecessarily bossy or rude. But those women can say no, or refuse to compromise or is very straight forward despite the fact that they are affecting/hurting others or making others extremely unhappy. I’m talking about these situations where there is no other way. Of course, it would be nice if we could always find a win-win situation in life, but that’s not always the case.
A Woman with Integrity
There is something very elegant about a woman who lives with integrity, and this sense of principle governs her life. She is a woman who is a cut above the rest. Many women can look and sound elegant, but a woman who is able to command a long lasting respect for all around her is one who is firm on living by principle.
Integrity is one of the strongest defining characteristic of true elegance. Elegance can be superficial. The woman that remains in your mind long after the outwards beauty and appearance wears off is one that is truly elegant from the inside out. After all, you don’t want people to just remember you by your elegant pearls and clothes,but by you, as a person. Others get inspired by how you live your life, make decisions, handle tough situations.
This is sort of a personal observation of elegant women of what makes them a cut above the rest, and I feel that having integrity is a big part of it. Thus, here is my latest article: A Woman with Integrity
The Elegant Woman
For those of you who follow the elegantwoman blog (blog.elegantwoman.org), you would know that I once again pulled back the date of my launch of my book “The Elegant Woman”. I’m happy to report that I’m very pleased with what my editor has done, though I’m going to hire him again to look at it again and we’ll be working together in the next 2-3 weeks. I had a read of it and I wanted to add in more stuff because I want to make sure that for any woman who reads it will surely finally have a tool to get out of where she is right now, to a better place.
I almost feel like I’m doing what Henry Higgins did for Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady, just without the meanness and curtness.
Finally I can control how elegantwoman.org should be read, instead of just embedding links to various pages. I want to make sure every person reads every page, every line in a certain flow.
In some sense, elegantwoman has always been my personal passion. It came about when I found myself feeling inferior among the ‘elite’ and the articles I wrote in elegantwoman were real things that I’ve done to cope with such situations. At the end of the day for me, it is simply a way I’d like to live.
I hope that through this book, everyone now can learn how to have confidence and break out of personal limitations and go on and do life in an elegant way.
Though even it is my 3rd book, and getting it done doesn’t get any easier! Many online authors simply put together a ‘book’ made out of powerpoint materials into a pdf file, but for me, no…all my books and materials are done the old-fashioned way, typing out 80,000 words each time!
Story of my books
My first book, Secrets of Elegance, I wrote for those who wanted to start right from zero, and felt too overwhelmed with all the information on the website. I kept it fairly short and easy to read, with a lot of personal assignments so that it becomes something you could put into practice right away. It turned out to be a bestseller!
My second book, Becoming a woman of the finest class, I felt was my best work. It wasn’t as popular as my first book, probably sold about 1/3 as many as Secrets of Elegance. I think it could be because from the book preview, you can tell it was kind of the “hard core” stuff, and I am very direct at the things you need to do in order to achieve the high standards of the most respected class of women. It was not easy, you had to put in hard work. It is definitely not a feel-good book! I wrote a little bit about the history, and the rest of it from studies, research, and personal observations. I mean, in all honesty, you really don’t have to become the finest woman around, unless, perhaps if you were going to be married to the President or anyone influential…that you might want to read the book!
I designed the course Classy First Steps, as an easy introduction to the book. Ideally,I would recommend that course first, then the book. But if you are on a tight budget, then the book would be a priority.
You may find all the books and courses on this page
Lastly, back to the whole existence of Elegantwoman.org, I feel The Elegant Woman (latest book) would probably do justice to what I had been trying to do all along, first, really for myself, because I have not arrived, and other women who may think they need help too.
Thank you once again for all your support. I’m very grateful for everyone here. May you feel that you’re on the winning side of life! If you’re not, I pray you will get through it and emerge a stronger person. God bless you.
Thanks for reading!
Shalom (which in Hebrew means wishing you peace, wholeness, perfect health and well-being),
Go back to The Elegant Woman.