“The most effective kind of education is that a child should play amongst lovely things.” – Plato from
Elegance must be combined with loveliness, because one usually not just desire to be elegant simply for themselves, but to shed a little joy around her and beautify her world.
If you look up the dictionary today, you’ll find that ‘loveliness’ is defined as ‘an exquisite beauty’. Researching deeper,
I’ve found that the intrinsic meaning of that beauty is natural, internal and it comes from all the goodness and love from the heart.
So how to be absolutely lovely?
I’ve found that it is easier to ‘be the right person’ than to ‘try to be the right person’
What is the difference?
For instance, if I know in my mind that I should not be late, I try very hard not to be late by setting a timer, an alarm etc. It is hard work, very hard for me indeed.
However, if I have reverence for other people’s time, I WILL not be late. It is easy to do.
For instance, if I were meeting the Queen of England, a one-in-a-lifetime opportunity, I wouldn’t dream of being late. I might be two hours early!
It all boils down to what you value. Do I value other people’s time? Or do I assume that it will be all right for them to wait for me? A lovely person is thoughtful at all times.
See more at easy elegant tips.
How to be lovely
(maybe as as Audrey Hepburn?)
She is one who…
is generous with her smile.
My heart instantly warms up to a person who smiles. It is big-hearted to be the one who smiles first because it takes a certain type of admirable courage and lack of self consciousness. She also has positivity that a smile will be returned.
Her smile encourages other smiles. Her pleasant countenance exudes her.
She asks about you and your family if they are well. She listens and refrains from talking about herself, unless asked. See the art of conversation
If you have had an embarrassing moment, she will appear to never have noticed it. If you have spilled soup on yourself, she would make light of it.
Her words are kind and thoughtful. Her gestures and actions reflect that too. A little pat on the head for a little dog, listening with delight when children attempt to converse. She will always offer a helping hand to elderly.
is on time, if not a little early.
When she has an appointment with someone, she is always on time, if not a little early.
If she is foresees to be five minutes late for her hair appointment, she phones as early as fifteen minutes before. She takes into account potential time-hazards when planning her time
As mentioned earlier, she has a deep reverence for time and other people’s time.
She sticks to her appointments, come rain or shine. She is dependable to turn up for her appointments. She never cancels, unless it is a real emergency. She will never make an excuse because she knows others have cleared their schedules for her.
Time is one of the most valued currency. While money can be lost, it may be earned back. But when time is lost, time is lost for ever.
She shows her reverence for time by the way she lives her life, settling into a quality lifestyle that is unrushed where she has time for church, family and friends.
believes others come first.
In her actions, she considers others.
She moves to the middle of the train to allow more space for passengers who come after her, and gives up her seat to that pregnant lady.
She stirs her tea quietly in order not to all attention to her cup. She speaks softly in public places, so that it will not be a disturbance to others.
She respects wishes and personal choices of others and will not ask intruding or potentially embarrassing questions. While she may not agree
with differing opinions, she will be gracious about it.
is disciplined in mind and heart.
She won’t assume she is well-known, important, that people are thinking about her, talking about her or will give her a ride home.
If she discovers any of those situations to be true, she graciously accepts and shows her appreciation.
She never says to anyone, ‘Do you know who I am?’ or ‘I don’t deserve this! I deserve better.’
She’ll won’t still anyone’s thunder by switching an conversational topic to herself. For instance if someone was talking about their trip
to Italy, she’ll take over the conversation and tell them what happened when SHE went to Italy.
She does not allow herself to go over an embarrassing situation in her mind. She disciplines herself not to fuss and get on with it. She does not get embarrassed.
‘She is disciplined in her lifestyle, not allowing herself to be drunk with wine, be addicted to bad habits of eating junk food, shop incessantly, be over ridden with debt, have too many possessions, or have disorder in her life and home.’ – Quote unknown
She also knows being disciplined in her heart and mind means taking efforts to ‘guard her heart’. In Proverbs 4:23, it says ‘Above all, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.’ Guarding one’s heart is reading, watching, listening to good, wholesome things that will inspire fruits such as love, patience, kindness etc.
Eunice says: Personally, I find it helpful to keep this mental discipline to attend a church, get involved in a good cause and community and reading good books. I also use a daily devotional.
is impeccable in appearance.
How to be lovely is also to be impeccable in appearance.
I was once told that in France, it is considered rude to go get bread at the bakery in home clothes and unmade face. This is because you force others to look at you in less-than-presentable appearance.
Good posture is important as well. A beautiful impeccable appearance is ruined by a poor posture. Keep your back straight at all times. Do not fold your arms, slouch or lean on anything. Learn to feel graceful with good posture. (More about developing poise.)
A lovely person definitely does not need to spend excessive time getting dressed. She achieves a timeless style by a sense of thoughtfulness about herself.
has a good work ethic.
She shows us how to be lovely by having a good work ethic.
Just as she is always on time, she has a strong work ethic.
She performs what is required of her, without complaining. She works hard and doesn’t give in even though she is tired. If she has a big client meeting the next day, she prepares for it and is confident. She doesn’t go out the night before if she has to pull off a big project the next day.
‘I adored my work and did my best.’ – Audrey Hepburn
has a balanced life with her values intact.
She is never too busy for her family, her loved ones.
She prioritizes and keeps things simple.
She is passionate about her work, but it will not take over her values. She is passionate about family, but she does not neglect herself and she continues
to take interests outside of family.
She knows when she is over-stretching herself and says ‘no’ to the unnecessary. Due to her disciplined manner of living, she enjoys what she has chosen, designed.
She is never hurried and in a rush.
She loves. She loves her family and friends. She loves dogs, beautiful gardens, books. She takes time to get to know the world around her.
She does not merely expresses it with words but through actions.
She employs a thoughtfulness and observation of her world. She can notices things about little children, remembering what is their favorite toy. She can recount silly stories of her dogs. She sends birthday flowers.
She loves beautifully decorating her house and up keeping it. It has similarities like a child playing with a dollhouse.
treats everyone the same.
She does not think she is better or more important than anyone and vice versa. She speaks in the same manner to the janitor as she would to
the vice president of her husband’s company.
She also does not repay a rude comments with nastiness.
She assumes the best of people. She says, “Oh, I trust and am very sure that in time to come, you will know what to do.” to the person who confides in her, instead of giving advice unless asked for.
She holds a standard of grace towards herself and not perfection. She also remembers to extend that grace to others.
When complimented, she accepts it kindly but gives away the credit, praising someone who has helped her with her hair.
is authentic and never puts on pretenses.
She is unafraid to say that she doesn’t know and does not pretend to know.
She does not fake her youth, her wealth, or accomplishments or her age. She tries to be as respectful as possible and is humble.
She gets the best quality that she can afford and will use it until it needs to be replaced.
is a giver.
A giving person is not merely generous with her finances. She is also generous with her time, words, her things, affection, her compliments, encouragement and praises.
Ultimately being lovely comes when one is inspired for the love of people, which comes supernaturally from God.
It is when you realize how much God loves you, in spite of ourselves, that brings out the wonderful sense of loveliness so we can now bestow on others.
How To Be Lovely
She who is altogether lovely…
- is generous with her smile
- is kind
- is on time, if not a little early.
- believes others come first.
- is disciplined in her mind and heart.
- is impeccable in appearance.
- has a good work ethic.
- has a balanced life with her values intact
- never lets herself believe that anybody is different from anybody.
- is gracious.
- is authentic and never puts on pretenses.
- is a giver.