A Refined Manner of Speaking
Learn the Pedigree Woman’s Style of Speaking.
You can judge how much class a person has got by the way she speaks.
Speech is influenced by many things. It is influenced mainly by environment, how you were brought up (i.e. the language your family uses),
culture and your mind.
Our objective today is to analyze the way a classy person speaks and break down these factors into actions. Actions that we can practice as exercise
to form good habits of a refined, cultivated person’s speech patterns.
Let’s analyze these factors together.
Tone of voice
Your tone of voice must be somewhat melodious. It mustn’t be too loud or soft. How do you know
if it’s too loud or soft?
The way to tell is the clarity of the voice. Can your friend sitting across you hear you? Check her body language, is she leaning forward? It must be clear, but the next table must not be able to hear you.
This acceptability range varies from country to country. We should just adapt accordingly.
The tone of your voice should be a ‘whole and round’ sound. It should not be nasal or too high pitched.
However, the problem with people is that they don’t know how they sound!
If possible, record your voice on camera, or your phone and listen to it. Can you imagine a classy person using that voice and tone?
If you think you can’t change your voice, you can. You can produce a more ‘wholesome’ sound but good breathing exercises and posture. Take a singing lesson or two (or watch some free youtube videos on singing), and you will unlearn all your bad habits of speaking through your nose.
Pace of Voice
It should be moderate and unhurried. That does not mean slow. Do not rush to get all that you want to say in. If someone speaks before you get to say all that you want, let it go! We sometimes have a bad habit of ‘trying to get it all in’. Honestly, that’s just our ego talking. People like us better when we listen. Pedigrees are great listeners. They listen more than they speak. They avoid giving opinions unless it is invited in a lively discussion. They know that
“It is better to keep silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt” – Proverbs 17:28.
When speaking, you should speak in a somewhat relaxed manner.
If you train yourself to speak clearly, concisely, you don’t need to rush through your words. You’ll be able to express what you really need to say in only a few sentences.
It would also be much easier to have a conversation with you than a person who talks too much.
Ideally, it should be an upper class accent. This varies from culture and country. I can’t tell you want a upper class accent … (we may
differ in opinions) only you can identify these accents by paying attention to the Pedigree class.
A upper class accent is generally – clear, smooth and precise.
It is unhurried. The words are pronounced accurately.
Though the use of words is brief, slang and short form of words are not used.
If you have a strong accent, try to neutralize it by imitating the upper class accent. Buy audio books that recite good english and listen to them daily. Imitate, imitate, imitate.
At the age of 18, Grace kelly begged for her voice tape recorder so that she can polish off her country accent.
Learning a second language will help train your mind to adopt another accent. Accent training would be much easier.
If all fails, try to adopt a neutral international accent. It will be clear and have less intonations.
“Our words reveal our refinements; they tell the discerning listener of the company we have kept; they are the hallmarks of education and culture.”
In Pedigree classes, quality, finesse, education, authencity are important values. And they value the mastery of language.
So, to be able to socialize in their circles, you must master your language so as to be able to identify with them.
Principles of a Classy Way of Speaking
Speak in good english and in complete sentences.
Avoid vulgarities, slang and short forms.
A light happy energy and almost always positive.
How to do all of the above? Read alot.
Quotes about a Refined Manner of Speaking
Woodrow Wilson, a Pedigree
“My father never allowed any member of his household to use an incorrect expression. Any slip on the part of one of the children was at once corrected; any unfamiliar word was immediately explained; each of us was encouraged to find a use for it in our conversation so as to fix it in our memories.”
“If you do these things (read good books), what will be your reward? Gradually, unconsciously but inevitably, your diction will begin to take on added beauty and refinement. Gradually, you will begin to reflect someone the glory and beauty and majesty of your companions.” – Dale Carnegie
“Tell me what you read, observed Goethe,” and I will tell you what you are.”
Classy Conversation Pointers
The goal of this exercise is help you be more comfortable speaking with Pedigrees. Learn what to say, how to say it, what not to say and some conversational blunders.
Pedigrees always make you feel as though the things you say are the most important thing in the world. They are good listeners.
How do you converse like them?
Happiness and positivity is a classy personality. You don’t have to jumping around with high energy to motivate and encourage everyone around you, but the best energy and amount of ‘happiness’ to radiate is to smile warmly.
If you are at a party, you must learn how to socialize elegantly.
How do to that? Learn how to do introductions, be light hearted in speech and talk to everybody for 3-5 minutes in the room, regardless whether you know them or not. You don’t have to wait for them to come to you.
Lose Class Fast! Here is What Not To Do
This applies especially if you are attending an event, a party where there is a large group of people.
- Ask intrusive questions, “How much money do you make?”, “How much does your house/dress/car/bag cost?”, “Why don’t you have children?”, “Why aren’t you married?”, “Are you seeing anyone special?”, “Are you a grandmother yet?”
- Give advice. Instead, respond with, “I’m sure you know what to do best.”
- Talk negatively in a very unkind light i.e. ‘B***h about someone.
- Dump your problems on one person.
- Talk about your problems.
- Speak loudly.
- Laugh loudly.
- Scream (whether in horror or in excitement).
- Air dirty laundry or tell embarrassing stories.
- Say shocking things
- Tell dirty, sexist or racist jokes.
- Be too opinionated.
- Give your opinion for everything.
- Be too longwinded.
- Interrogate someone with your endless questions.
- Pretend to know something that you don’t
Change the Way You Speak
To increase awareness of the way you speak, take a video recording of how you speak.
Talk as though you are talking to a friend. Chat, laugh, giggle, talk excitedly, pretend you are complaining or listening to her talk about her problems. Make an introduction of a friend to a friend.
Notice your head movements, are they still or bobbing? Notice your lips, are you a lazy lip speaker? Do your lips move? Do they move too much?
Are you too excited? Do you think you need to speak more calmly?
As you go through these exercises, do not have a judging, negative way of ‘scolding’ yourself when you see what you don’t like. Awareness is the first
step of progress! Just go about these exercises nonchalantly.
Do you have someone whom you admire the way they speak greatly? Get them on video and watch them many times over. This method of imprinting will seep into your subconscious and your manner of speaking will become like them.
Are you able to learn a new language?
Learning a new language helps increase your awareness of your accent and polish your original accent to become a finer one.
Otherwise, you can always buy cds or tapes of accents you like and listen to them repeatedly.
You can also hire a voice coach to do accent training.
We will be analyzing Gestures and elegant body movements!
Go back to Classy First Steps.