Manners & Etiquette

Good Manners For Children

children socializing

This page is about good manners for children. Teaching manners to children? Here is a list of good manners children should learn at a young age.

Good manners for children can be taught in the following Manners lessons plans for elegant mothers who wish to train their children to grow up in perfect ladies and gentlemen.

Naturally, we want the best for our children, so I thought it would be important to write a bit about the subject.

I’m sure we all have seen public badgering of children to their parents to buy toys, to do whatever they want. To get their way, they throw trashy temper tantrums, scream, shout, lie on the floor refusing to get up, making a huge scene.

Parents are not spared as well. In extreme frustration, they forget themselves and start responding to these public displays, ending up a public spectacle themselves, berating their children out of frustration.

To avoid being caught in those situations, we have to have to place high priority on the importance on good manners.

These beautiful little simple lessons are easy little tidbits of manners children and adults will find it easy to digest. They serve as perfect little reminders even to ourselves.

Good Manners For Children

Manners Are Taught

No one is born with good manners.

Manners are really practical applications of kindness have to be taught.

We sometimes get overwhelmed by “rules” of etiquette or manners and try very hard not to forget.

I’d say, take it slow, whether we are learning for ourselves or teaching them to our children. Take each lesson one by one, step by step and focus on turning them into habits.

I find it helpful to “revise” just before we are required to ‘use our manners’. Say before going to a fancy, dinner, I re-read my notes about the proper table manners etc.

It is also very helpful to remember “ Do unto others what you would have them do unto you.

The best way of teaching manners to children are by being good examples ourselves.

Good Manners For Children

The Basics

Manners children should start with are the magic words.

  • The magic words: Please, Thank you, Excuse Me, I’m Sorry.

  • Encourage children with use of the word please by not responding to a request until the magic words are spoken.

  • Perfect responses to questions directed at them:

  • “Yes please” or “No, thank you”

  • Get rid of “Yeah” and “Nah”.

  • “Excuse me” or “Excuse me, I’m sorry, can you please repeat the question?” is much preferred over “What?” or “Huh?”

Good Manners For Children

In Public Places

Just for the sake of ease, I’ll write the child as a ‘she’, though it can definitely apply to little boys too.

  • Children should always be near you and should not be allowed to go wandering off.
  • A child should not sit, squat on the floor or lie on the ground.
  • She should keep her hands to herself and not touch anything that does not belong to her.
  • Neither she or you should make a scene, no matter what warrants it. Pick her in and settle it out of public view.
  • Trash should always be disposed of in the bin.

Good Manners For Children

A Child’s Personal Hygiene and Grooming

  • She should always be impeccably dressed, appropriate to the situation or place.
  • She washes her hands before she eats and after she uses the wash room.
  • She does not groom or style herself in public!
  • She keeps her legs together when sitting.
  • She leaves the bathroom as she found it.

Good Manners For Children

Expressing Emotion

  • She controls her temper.
  • And also means she does not express anger, disappointment or frustration by using bad language, kicking something or the use of insults.
  • If she loses her temper, she apologies when she has calmed down after.
  • She does not shout, pout, sulk, or cry to get what she wants. Neither does causing a scene with temper tantrums.
  • She does not name-call.
  • She accepts apologies when they are offered.
  • She does not brag.
  • “A young lady should remember that by making another person feel small, she only succeeds only in diminishing herself.”- Kay West

Good Manners For Children

In Another Person’s Home

  • In a house not her own, she should learn to sit politely until given directions to “go play upstairs”.
  • She should request to use the bathroom to the owner of the house. A child should be taught to leave the bathroom as she found it.
  • She does not touch or use things that do not belong to her.
  • She should not be going into other rooms that she has not been invited in, nor opening cupboards and drawers. Even the fridge.
  • She should not make comments or comparisons on the house, “Where is your pool? Why is your garden so small? Your television is so small!”

Good Manners For Children


children socializing

  • She is considerate of another person’s feelings.
  • She must learn to be kind and make an effort to include everyone in the conversation, in a game, or at a party.
  • She realizes never to steal the spotlight, or steal someone’s thunder
  • She’ll never bring an uninvited guest to a dinner or party or ask if she can bring someone to a party.

Good Manners For Children

Dining & Table Manners

  • The napkin is to be placed on the lap and is used to wipe one’s mouth and fingers.
  • No matter how famished she is, she waits for the host to begin eating.
  • She does not stoop or bend low to the food, but maintains an upright position and brings food into her mouth. She also does not gobble.
  • If a child has finished eating, she should ask politely, “May I please be excused?”
  • Dishes are passed to the right.
  • When dining in someone’s home, always compliment the meal to the host and thank them.
  • She’ll never touch her hair at the table.
  • Elbows will never rest on the table.
  • When the phone rings, request to return the call.
  • Do not talk on your cell phone at a table in a restaurant so that your child will learn this when she is old enough to have her own cell phone.
  • She learns not to make any noise when eating. She does not slurp, crunch ice or stir her tea with a teaspoon loudly. (when she stirs, she keeps it away from the sides in order to minimize the noise).

Good Manners For Children

Learning Introductions

Manners are most important when it affect others, since all of us have to interact with people everyday, it might be smart to start with introductions.

  • A man is always introduced to a lady.
  • Just as a young person is always introduced to an older person.

    “Grace, I’d like you to meet Pastor Prince.”

    “Pastor Prince, this is my daughter Grace.”

  • Also, a less important person is always introduced to a more important person.
  • Stand when being introduced is polite. Get up from your seat.
  • When being introduced, greet by saying “hello !”
  • Focus on introduction in order to remember names.
  • Prioritize the importance of standing straight, making eye contact and speaking clearly.
  • Slouching, looking down at the floor, at an area over the shoulder or having a wandering eye during a conversation should not be tolerated.
  • The time-old excuse of “I’m really bad with names” is no excuse.
  • Set the good examples for your children!

  • During a conversation with your child, resist the temptation to answer for her when an adult attempts to engage her in conversation, no matter how much she struggles.
  • Always end a conversation with “It was nice to meet you.” before leaving.
  • Children should get into the habits of addressing adults as Mr & Mrs.

Good Manners For Children

Get the Book!

I love this story which the author included in her book.

“When I was growing up, we spent a week every summer in a small community of cabins by a mountain lake. Every Saturday night, there was a square dance in the recreation hall.

The summer I was twelve, I was sitting at a table with other girls in the camp when one of the boys walked determinedly across the dance floor, positioned himself in front of me, and asked me to dance.

I wasn’t terribly fond of this boy, and feeling quite full of myself, said, “No, thank you.” As the other girls tittered, he shrank about two inches in height and crept away.

Seconds later, I felt my mother’s fingernails digging into my arm as she hissed in my ear, “Come with me.” Outside we went, where she let me have it. “Who do you think you are? How dare you turn that boy down when he walked all the way across the room in front of everyone to ask you to dance? Never turn down a man who asks you to dance. It is three minutes out of your life, and it won’t kill you. Now you get your little fanny back in there and ask him to dance. And I won’t be sorry for you if he says no.”

So that’s what I did, and he, being more considerate than me, said yes. We danced, and it didn’t kill me. In fact, it was fun. I never turned down a man who asked me to dance and have enjoyed every single dance.”

Good Manners For Children

Some Tips On Teaching Manners To Children

  • Set good examples.
  • Listen to your child when he speaks, even if you have heard it before.
  • Do not discipline your child in front of others.
  • Be generous with compliments and stingy with criticism.
  • Do not correct any child on her manners.
  • Admit when you are wrong, and offer an apology to your child when you are.
  • Respect your child’s privacy and boundaries. Knock first.

Thank you for reading “Good Manners For Children”!

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