Similar to how certain clothes, shoes or bags may ruin a woman’s appearance, there are gestures ruin the elegance of the even the most well-dressed women.
It is true that what one woman wears affects her elegance greatly. But today I would like to talk about taking this knowledge one step further and talk about
elegant gestures, or not.
No woman can convince anyone of her elegance if she is not mindful of her gestures, especially if they aren’t the most elegant ones. For example, fidgeting, talking loudly, slapping her thighs when consumed with laughter, leaning etc.
Self analysis of your own gestures is important in attaining an elegant deportment.
Before going straight into the list of gestures as promised, I would like to remind everyone that no one is perfect, so don’t be too hard
on yourself if you identify yourself doing some of these. 🙂
List of Gestures that Demolishes Elegance
- picking on a scab/pimple
- slapping the back of someone when she laughs or by clapping her hands together in a loud sound.
- sluggish walking by dragging her feet
- swinging her arms like a soldier marching
- wiping their teeth with their tongue
- bending to her food instead instead of bringing food to her mouth
- folding her arms
- resting your head or chin on your hands and elbows
- leaning on the walls of lift, counters etc.
- putting a finger in her mouth to get rid of food
- scratching or fidgeting
- tugging her jeans or top
- pulling up her bra straps
- examining her complexion or teeth in her compact mirror in a public place other than the bathroom
- putting make up in public (other than a quick dash of lipstick after meals0
- staring into space
- keeping her mouth slightly open
- biting her fingernails
- sitting with her legs apart
- underwear exposed (or bottom)
- bending over and locking your knees instead of being your knees to pick up something
- combing her hair or fiddling with her hair in a public place.
- talking loudly
- stirring her coffee or tea with a tea spoon loudly
As superficial as it sounds, these gestures alone hinder a good impression and studies have shown that it can harm your chances for love,
meeting people, friendship, getting the job you want…no matter how lovely a person you are.
We may blame everyone and everything else for superficiality of it all and the person for not making the effort to get to know us better, but such is life –
we sometimes only get a few seconds to help the other party decide information about us.
Gestures are non-verbal communication. What are your gestures saying about you?
From ‘Guide to Elegance‘, it quotes
“The charm and grace that are the foundations of elegance are made up of graceful gestures and self-controlled movements which are developed and acquired hopefully from earliest childhood.
With that said, a complete lack of spontaneity in a woman is extremely irritating and in the end, it is just as destructive to her elegance as undisciplined behavior of a tomboy.”
A large part of elegant gestures is the way we hold ourselves in all manners. An elegant woman has a certain chic poise.
The Importance of Posture
Years ago, going to finishing school was the mark of a well-bred girl. She would undergo cooking lessons, etiquette lessons as well as posture lessons.
Today, we enroll ourselves in dance lessons to hopefully gain the beauty, grace, poise and posture of the established dancer. We send our daughters to ballet school in hope of developing graceful posture and acquiring poise and body confidence.
Though I rather use positive quotes, this quote has been etched into my memory and it has served me well – sometimes we need a slight kick of ourselves in other to move forward.
A rounded back, sagging shoulders and a drooping chin create an image of extreme lassitude of discouragement with life, and giving an unfair reflection of a certain sloppiness, laziness and pride of herself.