Engagement Ring Etiquette – All You’ll Ever Need To Know About Engagement and Wedding Rings Etiquette.
History, Origins and Purpose Of the Engagement Ring
Some clarity regarding the engagement ring:
An engagement ring originated in western customs. It is to signify that the proposal of marriage to a woman is accepted and thus the engagement period is used to plan a wedding.
The ring is usually presented as a gift to a woman during the proposal. If the proposal is accepted, she accepts the ring. It represents a agreement for a future marriage.
It is common these days that engagement ring is a diamond ring, but in recent modern times, other precious stones are being accepted.
A very elegant tradition is to have heirloom rings passed down from great grand mothers to daughters etc.
The Order of Procession
Engagement ring etiquette elaborated..
After dating for at least four to six months, your partner decides he wants to marry you, assuming no family objections. He goes to a jeweler and begin the quest for his diamond (or precious stone). He researches and studies his budget and what he wants to give you and finally purchases a diamond. His jeweler then gives a clasp-on temporary ring, where the diamond is clasps on in a nice velvet box.
He keeps it with him and proposes to you.
Once you accept, both of you make a trip to the jeweler to get your ring set according to your finger size and preference and your band designed.
Alternatively, he finds a creative way to get your ring size. Either he measures your finger when you are asleep, or meets your favorite jeweler to ask about your details.
Once I went to a jeweler to look at some jewelry, while I was looking at something else, my fiancé had a very quick private talk with my jeweler to get my ring size. This was a shop I have not been before and yet, the very smart jewelry instantly could tell my finger size.
This is to illustrate that with a glance, the jeweler could accurately estimate my ring size. They have been sizing so many fingers that their guesses are accurate or not far off.
Engagement ring etiquette Smart Tips.
Tell this story to your future husband to show how smart jewelers are.
It is also very helpful if you very strategically let him know your ring size.
Once he gets your ring size, he can buy the ring immediately without having you to get it re-set or size. I only encourage this if the groom truly knows his bride’s tastes very well – such as a preference over thinner bands, the diamond set high or low, the tall band, the crusted band etc.
Alternative – A Less Romantic but Practical Engagement Ring Etiquette
He speaks to his parents about marrying you, then asks for your parents’ permission to marry you. Once that is clear, he takes you to view some rings, discussing his budget with you. You select your favorite ring and everyone is happy.
This depends on personalities of the couple. If this arrangement makes you happy, that is all that matters!
Etiquette – Accepting The Ring
- Do not complain about the size!
- Do not complain about the type of diamond.
- Be sensitive to his ego and manliness as sometimes diamond size may show how much he can provide for you. It is not true. It is a deep gesture of love.
- If you think he is being stingy, ask yourself if he has good reason to – is he saving up for a house for both of you? Think big picture. If he is just being stingy as a matter of character, think carefully if this is the right guy for you.
- If you are not sure, ask him for a few days to think about it rather than accepting him straight away. Emphasize how much you appreciate his love though.
- If you really hate it, gently approach the subject about re-setting the ring. The consequences of that depend on the character of your husband.
- Otherwise, if you can bear it, wear it for the next 10 years and have it re-set as part of your 10 year anniversary present.
Other Engagement Ring Etiquette
In most countries, the engagement ring is worn on the left-hand ring finger, though it is sometimes worn on the right hand on the fourth finger.
Though it is more common these days for the lady to buy an engagement ring back for her man, I do not think it is necessary.
Breaking off the Engagement
An engagement period is also to take the relationship to another level and can be broken off quickly if you soon see that both of you will not fit in a marriage.
If the man breaks off the engagement, the woman is not obliged to return the ring.
If the woman breaks off the engagement, the fiancé can demand its return and she should give it back.
Wedding Ring Etiquette
It is customary for the fiancee to purchase the wedding ring.
Do the rings have to match? Hers and his?
The rings are purchase at least a month before the wedding.
A good idea is to take him ring shopping with you to try on a few. If he hates shopping, show him a few designs and have him pick out the ones he like. After finalizing a selection, have him try them on before you buy them. Sometimes the rings may look good online but not so good on his finger.