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Elegant Letters, Issue #23 Posture, Manner, Carriage.

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“A good stance and posture reflect a proper state of mind.”
– Morihei Ueshiba

“I don’t want to be the center of attention. My posture has changed. I walk with my head down and shoulders slumped. Suddenly I carry myself as if I’m ashamed of something.”
Randy Harrison

For all of you who have been with me from the beginning (March 2009), I just want to say I’m very grateful for your support. And those who have recently joined us, a very warm welcome into the family! I believe all of you are a unique network of women who will inspire, influence and change the world!

My renovations are almost done and there’s no drilling. Maybe that is the reason I was on the roll today working on elegantwoman.org. I want to share two little articles which I wrote today. But first, I want to talk about how elegant women deal with embarrassment.

The Issue of Embarrassment

I’m sure at some point in your life, you may experience some of it. It could be a simple thing as saying the wrong thing or mispronouncing a word, or remembering the wrong name. You might be feeling shy because of the lack of income or education or connections. Some of you may go through a major embarrassment such as a cancelled wedding or a unexpected break-up.


Recently, I’ve also experienced some embarrassment. I couldn’t help but think about it and let myself sink further into self-indulgence. It’s nothing major, but it was mentally and emotionally exhausting. It is just one of those things when you’re just too hard on yourself.

I turned to prayer (please pardon my mention of faith but I don’t know how else to share this), and I remember the Lord reminding me of who I am in Christ. I was reminded of His love and shelter and His protection. I felt that I could hide under His wings. I could maintain my dignity and hold my head up high.

Then I also remembered the principle of ‘no embarrassment’ of an an elegant classy woman. She simply does not get embarrassed. This does not mean she doesn’t suffer from feelings of embarrassment, but she forces herself to hold her head high, keep calm and carry on. She acts. She wills herself not show signs of self-consciousness and nervousness. I believe this takes mental strength – for me, it comes from faith. I’m sure there are many ways to get mental strength too, such as not giving up, discipline, believing in yourself etc.

I get lots of emails pointing out how I have grammatical errors, spelling errors, web page errors etc etc. I feel embarrassed about that! But I know I’m not perfect, I don’t have a team of professional editors, web-masters and all the time in the world to build elegantwoman.org. To beat up myself over it is futile. (That’s what I tell myself anyway!)

So if you’re experiencing these feelings, remember, hold your head up high and hold on to that self-respect. It is only human to make mistakes. Let’s just forget it and move on.

If you are caught in an embarrassing situation – just change the subject, change the topic. Walk away if you have to.

An Elegant Woman’s Manner

Now, I’m not referring to Manners – in terms of how to be have manners. I’m talking about behaviour and bearing. It is the manner of how one behaves. I found a great illustration of the manner of a woman exhibiting the finest qualities of CLASS. I decided to record it here on elegantwoman.org

I was reading Mao’s Last Dancer when I found this wonderful illustration of CLASS. I have written about it here: Elegant Sophisticated Bearing.

1991 White House photo op w/Barbara Bush

Elegant Posture

posture (6)

I wrote a new article about how to have an elegant posture, this time, nailing it down to a science (in my opinion anyway).

This is the result of privately studying with two ballet teachers of Singapore Dance Theatre of whom I’m a proud supporter of.

I’ve been working on my posture for weeks! I’ll tell you the truth – it is not easy for me, especially since I’ve spent the past few years slightly hunched (and not realising it). I’m also working on the muscles and re-training of my body to maintain it. It is one thing to know it and another thing to BE it.

Read about my journey and get some elegant posture tips on How to have Elegant Posture.

What’s Happening?

I’ve also answered a question on Classy Fashion Designers. Read my reply here.

As the year winds down, I hope to be able to spend more time with
friends and family. I will be heading back to Australia again for a while to do so. I will be busy preparing for Christmas and I’m excited about that because I love Christmas. I will also be getting a new dream book and jotting down new dreams, aspirations and goals.

Planning New Book

Meanwhile, I’ve been planning book 3! It will be more or less the theme of finishing schools, but I hope to go further and find out how princesses are trained. I plan to put a modern twist to it to make it relevant to our society today. I’m not quite sure yet, but I’m making a rough draft of the blueprint. I’m also trying to complete the kindle version of my 2nd book, Becoming a Woman of the Finest Class.

I’m also reviewing the old pages of the site to update them as much as possible.

Hmm…so that’s all for now. Take care of yourself for now, and stay in touch! Come on the Facebook page and write on the wall sometimes. 🙂

Until our next issue of Elegant letters, I’ll see you on Facebook or Twitter! *sending my love*

P.s. Catch a glimpse of my thoughts on twitter (which may not be related to elegance) and Facebook. While I’m busy reading, researching, planning and writing pages on elegantwoman.org, I occasionally blog.

Books and Courses by Elegantwoman.org

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The shop on elegantwoman.org alongside with a few running advertisements fund the development and running costs of elegantwoman.org.

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Thank you for reading ‘Elegant Letters Issue 23’!

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