Class Distinctions

How To Become A Socialite

friends going snow trekking

Why did I choose to write a page on “How to Become a Socialite?”

Really? How to become a socialite?‘, you might ask.

In my experience as a journalist for a couple of magazines, I learnt about the work of a socialite’s life. I’ve grasped how and why there is some benefit of being a savvy socialite.

The interest in socialites have been growing since Paris Hilton reinvented the wheel, making paparazzi work for her. Accompanying that is the growing interest in ‘how to become a socialite’, as the media often play up the fabulous lifestyles socialites lead, almost taunting us at every angle!

We are left to wonder, what’s really in a socialite’s life?

While I am not condoning anyone to strive to be a socialite, there is some value in learning how to be one. Ah! It sounds controversial, doesn’t it? Hear me out though… I want to write about this topic because its an age-old tradition process of one’s refinement. One learns a sophisticated elegance that way.

Did I mean that you have to be a socialite to become refined? Definitely NOT.

What is IMPORTANT is the process of how someone becomes a socialite. It is where we draw lessons to help ourselves reach the height of our own refinement, living elegantly.

What is a Socialite?

elegant times de-lovely
Ashley Judd plays Linda Porter in the
film De-lovely, who was a prominent
socialite in the 1900s

So before we dive into learning how to be a socialite, we first try to define ‘what is a socialite.’

By Wiki’s definition, a socialite is a person who is known to be part of fashionable high society because of their regular participation in social activities.

It goes on to explain that a socialite’s life consists of a person fond of spending a significant amount of time entertaining and being entertained.

While it is true, some socialites choose to use their social skills and connections to raise funds for various charitable or philanthropic activities.

They usually appear in society pages, society magazines.

They also tend to be wealthy.

A Socialite’s Influence

john c maxwell and me
John C Maxwell and Me in 2005

Next, to learn how to be a socialite is to realize the power of influence, especially when you use it for good.

A socialite has considerable influence. I like John C Maxwell‘s definition of influence. He says, influence is leadership.

As we can see, many of them work for noble causes with charity, and some donating all or large portions of wealth in their will.

It is very easy to be judgmental and stick your nose up, thinking all they do is spend money extravagantly and indulge in meaningless parties.

I want to talk about the respectable socialite who does not make herself a fool in media, boast, brag, but use her influence for the better good.

Why do many high-powered socialites seem to not work or have jobs?

These respectable socialites do not get jobs though many of them very well educated and qualified because of a few reasons.

Reasons such as wanting to become a full time mother, helping her husband in business, or managing the social aspects of his business, entertaining and networking.

In some cases, their very wealthy husbands or families do not wish them to have a job, but pursue other more familiar matters, such as managing their family’s estate, portfolio, charities, properties etc.

And just for the record, I’d rather have a good kind hearted person gain fame, become a socialite and use her influence for good. Just as I’d rather a sensible down-to-earth person become a celebrity. We’ll need some good role models and people to aspire to anyway.

A Social Climber

How To Become a Socialite – is to learn to ‘social climb’. Now don’t judge, but instead glean lessons from the ways of society. And before you do, you might want to acquire traits of ‘classiness’.

What is a Social Climber? This describes a person who accumulates social relationships, choosing to mix with ‘bigger or better’ people. Remember, though how someone defines “bigger and better” is very personal.

I need not elaborate here because however one defines it, it is their personal choice. Life is made up of personal choices, aren’t they?

If you were born into a certain family, had a prestigious education, live a certain lifestyle already set out for you, there isn’t too much a need to social climb. The only thing you might need to do, if you want to become a socialite is to be more ‘visible’. This could mean participating in certain events which could extend your influence.

Is it important so social climb?

Social climbing sounds a little vulgar, and because of that I’d rather use the word, ‘connecting to people of similar interests’. An alternative would be ‘network’, but I don’t like it that much either because it sounds mercenary.

It is important to “connect” with people of similar interests. For your work, for your happiness, and their happiness. People who are of the same feather like to socialize together, do business with each other, help one another and marry each other.

For instance, you may come from a small town and because of your good grades, you got a scholarship to a prestigious university in a big city. Quickly, you’ve adapted to the new city, dress differently, traveled with your new friends etc. When you go back to your small town, you love the old familiar friends but may find it hard to speak about common things with the friends you grew up with.

friends going snow trekking

Does it mean you abandon them as friends? Definitely not. To them, you’ll always be you and you should be you.

But they are unlikely to share your new found interests in travel, culture, sports with you. They might not even be interested!

Simply said, you need to make new friends for your acquired lifestyle. You have grown and it should be celebrated and not apologized for!

I know some people shut the door to making new friends because they think they’ve already got the best friends in the world. While I believe that is true, I always believe in the constant cultivation of friends. (Ah, there are many friends in a socialite’s life). Friends will come and go, and having that mindset takes the pressure on your old friends. You’ll find yourself happier and less disappointed. You’ll learn that no one’s perfect (for you) and what you can’t find in Sarah, you’ll find in Alicia. You’ll appreciate the differences.

It also makes you a better, more understanding, likable person. You’ll find yourself being able to talk and be friends with everybody.

Please continue to read on not just how to become a socialite, but how to become a SAVVY socialite. (continuation).

See also How to become a Savvy Socialite.

You may like:

1. Definition of Society

2. Society Balls, Social dances, Charity Balls and Galas

3. How to Host A Private Ball (or Dance)

4. The Elegant Sophisticated Woman

Thank you for reading ‘How To Become A Socialite’!

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