On A Date

Simplicity rules here:

All you have to do is show up, relax and pretend you're an movie star. Be sweet and light. Laugh at his jokes, but don't try too hard. Smile a lot and don't feel obligated to fill up the lulls in the conversation. (In general, let him do all the work.)

End the date first. It should also not last more than 5-6 hours.

Smile and say you are having a good time even if you are not.

Don't stare at men. It is a dead give away of interest.

Don't talk too much. And never offer too much information, for e.g. what you are doing tomorrow. Its really alright to let him wonder.

It's never necessary to make eye contact. We suggest smiling at the room, commenting on beautiful drapes and you will end up looking relaxed and approachable.

Avoid staring romantically into his eyes on the first date. (Men respond to eye contact. Females respond to touch.) It's best to seem generally interested in life, in others, in surroundings, in paintings, in the food, as opposed to this live prey.

On dates, stay cool and just listen to what he says.

Early dating is not the time to tell him about your job problems.

Don't feel the need to fill in the silences.

Don't feel you have to be entertaining or have interesting conversation all the time. He may end up thinking you are trying too hard. Remember the episode when Carrie dragged Miranda on her first date with Aidan again when they broke up? She was so nervous and she kept talking and talking and talking...You could almost see pity in Aidan's eyes for her.

Don't meet him halfway or go Dutch on the first couple of dates. Men loves challenges - that's why they play sports, fight wars and raid co-operations.)

If you are worried about his tight budget, offer to go on inexpensive dates for example, saying you are interested to go to the museum (usually free), or have dinner at an inexpensive restaurant because you love the "mushroom soup" there.

Remember he is deriving great pleasure from taking you out, why deprive him of the joy of feeling chivalrous?

The best way you can replay him is by being appreciative. Say thank you and please.

Don't EVER criticize. Not his tie (even if it is a joke), the place, the food, the service even if they are awful. Be positive. Look for the good in everything.

Once I went a date with a guy who knocked a teapot into my lap and not only made my skirt wet but scalded me. I kept calm and simply excused myself to go to the bathroom while the waiter cleared the mess. I later emerged almost as if nothing happened and smiled. He apologized profusely of course but I simply said lightly, 'Oh it was an accident. I'm alright' and swiftly changed the subject in order to keep him from feeling remorseful. He was so appreciative and asked me out again. I never mentioned it again or made jokes about his clumsiness. It is kind not to do so.

Many things can go wrong on a date, and usually because he is so eager to impress you that he ends up making more mistakes.

Don't call him or be prompt about returning his text messages. To call men is to pursue them.

Another reason not to call men is so that you don't catch them in the middle of something, sleeping, watching a football game, paying bills, entertaining a friend. When your call is interrupting what he is doing, his focused brain (men can usually prefer to do one thing at a time, opposite to women's multi-tasking nature), he will sound distant, and you will misinterpret his busyness as disinterest.

You'll find that you'll feel empty and nervous for the rest of the day until you hear from him again. Your nervousness might prompt you to ask him "Is everything okay?" Refrain from asking this too often. Respect his boundaries (for now).

So if you don't want a man to know how much you like him, don't call! This self-discipline will help you not get too hung up over him and behave naturally when around him.

Not calling will leave him desiring you more, make him want to see you and call you again.

It also prevents him from getting to know all about you much too quickly and getting bored.

Besides, when you call only once in a while, it becomes special.

When he calls....

Click here to see tips on being on a date.

Click here to see what to do before the date