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On Status & Reality

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Nov 10, 2010
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Qualities of an Elegant Woman - How To Stop Shopping and Overspending
by: Eunice replies

Dear Belinda,

Thank you for sharing that heartfelt letter with me.

It is normal to 'aspire' and to want nice things. In fact, elegantwoman.org is all about that. It is about aspiring to become the woman you want to be.

When I read your email, I can completely understand because I went through these things myself! And even now, on occasion.

Keeping up with the designer-clad girls, is akin to what everyone is doing these days, as the term is coined "keeping up with the Joneses."

Luxury, designer things can give us confidence...but only for a while. If we base our 'image' and 'confidence' in these fine things, we will never be truly secure.

And we won't get satisfaction with good quality things because we don't really appreciate or value them for what they really are. Nice things!

As cliche as it sounds, you are what you think about.

If you spend lots of time at the mall, browsing fashion magazines, keeping up with sales and designer events ... you can't help but think about shopping, buying things. You'll always be 'wanting' and trying to control your spending.

While spending time at the mall is fine, but if you are struggling with having enough for basic necessities, you have find a new hobby to occupy your thoughts! You need to establish a new identity, of an elegant, intelligent lady. One who is a quality-type of person (and that does not refer to just things!)

Pursue your education (of elegance maybe?). Pick up a book about something you're interested in. It could be about the Jazz age, or Greek history, or how about fashion history like Coco Chanel and Valentino etc.

In my article, I talk about establishing your own brand of elegance, about being authentic.

https://elegantwoman.org/elegant-self-confidence.html

When you find your strengths and talents, you pursue a stronger identity. With that self knowledge, you'll be proud of who you are, what you can do and what you know. This will lead to an immense self confidence these intimidating people in your life will come to respect.

I've noticed this pattern in elegant women. They use designer things but they are just not that important in their lives. They then are ranked far below education, knowledge, experience and feelings. And strangely, the elegant ones are quite frugal and sensible with their finances.

As my very elegant japanese friend quotes,

"I don't buy brands. I appreciate fine things but that's all they are: things. "

God bless you in your future endeavors.

Kindest regards,
Eunice

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