Comments for Ettiquette when providing a safe, warm place to stay for the night

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Ettiquette when providing a safe, warm place to stay for the night

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Nov 24, 2010
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Wait Until You Are Ready To Host
by: Anonymous

It doesn't sound like you are in a position for hosting at this time. I sense that while your head might tell you to host,your heart is not really into this, hence all of the dilemmas surrounding whether or not you should extend yourself (via cooking) or do anything to make your guest comfortable if it isn't within your own parameters of comfort or budget. I think that a guest is a guest and should be treated as such, regardless of their social position (i.e. whether they are homeless or not). That is the definition of class and elegance; treating everyone with kindness, regardless of their social position.

Treating each guest with the same kindness by extending ourselves and providing a nice bed, warm room, good food and good company is one of the nicest things we can do. I guess what bothers me the most about your question was thinking about how the guest would feel. For a person to be down on their luck and homeless, once of the nicest things might be a warm bed for the night, a good hot meal and to be treated like they were luxury, even if for a night. A too hot room would feel good to a man or woman who is cold. A hot meal cooked on stove might fill a stomach that has been hungry a long time and having some leftovers for them to take, would help them too. Having someone to talk to over a meal along with everything else might help a person whose self esteem has suffered a bit with their current personal crisis. It is those times in our life, when human kindness matters the most. On the flip side, having a place to stay where they host didn't want to extend themselves, would make me feel very uncomfortable, as if I wasn't wanted or that I was a burden.

To answer your question, when you are ready to extend and give of yourself, then you are ready to accept people into your home. At that time, I would make an exception to your rules and provide maximum comfort in terms of heat, food and comfort for your guest. I think providing a nice warm dinner, a warm bed and bath, a nice room and some company. After dinner,you might talk a bit about some house rules, i.e. you are glad to have them in your home and hope they will be comfortable. Then you can mention that they are welcome to stay until x time in the morning and that breakfast is typically low key so they should feel free to get up and make themselves some coffee and breakfast, etc. and then show them where everything is. I'd also prepare some leftovers to take with and insist they take them. At that time, you can add that the only request is that they don't smoke due to your asthma or whatever. I would not turn off all of the circuits at night. In essence, treat them with kindness as if they were your best guest. You can return to your normal routine of not using much heat and electricity once they leave. As for pets, be clear about that up front. Good luck.

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