Ettiquette when providing a safe, warm place to stay for the night

by Anna
(NM)

This is a question about hosting, but not the normal, social hosting. This is about hosting people who need a place to stay for a night or some number of nights, e.g. homeless friends, travelers passing through, people in between homes, etc.

I guess I'm wondering what are my minimum obligations once I accept the guest, what would the "ideal host" do, how do I politely but firmly set boundaries, and that sort of thing.

For example, am I obligated to turn the heat up for the guest higher than I would for myself? If it is my custom to only turn the heat up enough to keep the pipes from freezing, or only to 48F, or only to 60F, but I have a guest who does not feel warm until it reaches 64F or 74F or whatever, am I obligated to turn the heat up, or can I just give them pile of blankets, including a space blanket, and tell them to make do?

If it is my custom to turn off all non-essential electric circuits (everything but the one with the refrigerator) at night to save on my electric bill, but a guest complains that this inconveniences them, am I obligated to leave the electricity on? What should I do if I concede, but then the light they use keeps me awake?

For multi-night visitors, am I obligated to allow them to stay in my home while I am out during the day, or is it okay if I ask them to leave and come back in the evening? Does it make a difference how well I know them, and if they are ill or disabled?

If I have asthma, how can I politely insist that they avoid exposing me to asthma triggers, even where this may impose some inconvenience on them and break their ordinary routine? If they do not follow my instructions and I have an asthma attack as a result, or if they fail to understand the severity of my sensitivity and some steps to mitigate the problem but those steps are insufficient, or if they argue with me and insist that it would be too great an inconvenience for them to accommodate me on this, how do I deal with the situation gracefully?

What are my obligations with regards to providing food? Do I have to provide food, or can I tell them to buy their own / hop on over to a nearby food bank? If so, do I have to actually cook, or can I just say, "there's cereal in the cupboard; get yourself a bowl when you are hungry"? If not, do I need to go out of my way to avoid eating my own meals in front of them? What if they don't want to leave long enough for me to prepare and eat a meal alone?

How much time am I obligated to spend with them socially? How much energy am I obligated to invest in listening to their problems? When I no longer have the energy for these things, how do I politely insist that they give me some space?

How do I set clear boundaries on the matter of "don't bother my neighbors" and deal with anyone who fails to follow this rule?

What do I do about the ones who wake up and pace at 3AM in the morning, waking me up, or won't go to bed until I talk to them for an hour or more?

What do I do if they are asking me for things right when I'm trying to go to work or go out to run other time-sensitive errands?

If they are napping during the day, is it polite for me to engage in my ordinary routines, like cleaning, even if those routines are noisy?

If I give someone a time limit, and once it is reached they act like I am evicting them, what do I do?

If a guest bothers me too much, how do I insist that they leave before this time limit is reached, and under what circumstances would it be appropriate for me to do this?

If my rental lease has a no-pets clause, what do I do if someone did not tell me they had a pet but shows up with one?

Thanks!