Uninvited Strangers! What do I do?

Last New Years Eve, several people showed up at our family's New Years Eve party of over 100 guest. What is the best response to a stranger that shows up at your door and says, "I heard the party was here," and then walks in to your home. I was speechless.

Similarly, my sister-in-law just informed me that her husband, with whom she is separated because he lives with another woman, is coming with her to our house for Thanksgiving Dinner. I wish to be cordial, but also would like to impress on my children (ages 6, 8, and 10) that I do not approve of her husband living with a girlfriend. Their cousins (age 12) have informed them of the living arrangement.

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