To be more tolerant

I have had very destructive people around me, from my parents to the people I chose to spend time with as an adult. I always knew that this behavior was wrong and did my best not to engage in it myself, from my earliest recollection, and as an adult I've learned to avoid interacting with people who are destructive after many painful lessons.

However, I have a very difficult time tolerating destructive behavior (rudeness, selfishness, ignorance, gossip, etc.) now in anyone long enough to even finish dinner. I also lack gracious acceptance for any success of those who treated me badly; since none of these people have ever apologized, the damage done was significant, and they continue to behave in a destructive manner, it upsets me to see them succeed believing that their treatment of another person is justified. I would prefer not to be angry. It is so inelegant! I hope to forget the trangressions of the past and ignore those that I encounter - and I will be sure it is as brief as possible - in the future.