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If you use a speakerphone to answer, it is good telephone manners to tell the caller so.
If you sense that you're on a speakerphone, and you're not comfortable with it, just say, "Am I on speakerphone? Do you mind if you turn it off because it is hard to hear."
You are right that is rude! I would say lesson learned now just expect him to do this in the future. I hope you have better experiences with your ex in the future.
