Comments for People who use 'Darling, Honey, Baby, Sweetie' Too Much And Inappropriately

Comments for
People who use 'Darling, Honey, Baby, Sweetie' Too Much And Inappropriately

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Jul 30, 2012
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You people are ridiculous NEW
by: Layla

Seriously? You are offended if some Southerner calls you 'Hon.'
"It's so offensive."
"They are so unprofessional."
"It's so irritating."
Give me a break. You all sound like a bunch of uptight idiots. Get over yourselves, and be glad they didn't call you something more appropriate, like "uptight bit*!" or "ass*&le."
Have a nice day sweetie!

Jul 15, 2012
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Letting someone know how you wish to be addressed NEW
by: Jim B

My wife and myself frequent a nearby restaurant and are often waited upon by a young lady (21-22) who chooses to use all of the names referred to in the other comments. Maybe it is the erosion of social protocall that seems to be occuring in our society but we (67 and 72 YOA) find it very inappropriate. She has served us previous summers and knows our first names and up till this season used them. Something must have happened with her that she now feels so in need to project this way of greeting us and others and I can only think she is unaware of how it detracts from her otherwise personable manner. I then tried to come up with a soulution that would accepted as it is meant, not judgemental but letting her know the preference we have for our names to used as opposed to the endearment titles. As she reffered to me as usual I replied very nicely that I was suprised she forgot our names. As she stated very nicely that she hadn't I responded that we were happy that she hadn't forgotten and how we really prefer them as opposed to Sweetie etc. I complimented her on her name and she accepted our request. Next visit I said Hi (her name) and she nicley replied Hi Sweetheart. I smiled and said our names and she apologized and said she is so used to doing it it's automatic. I nicely said we were willing to help her use our names as she "forgets" and at this writing I have the feeling we can convert her. Let's see what happens.

Mar 20, 2012
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These people are well meaning 97% of the time. What about you? NEW
by: Anonymous

I think sad that so many people are so are worked up over word...who has control issues. Why, are you so bothered by people who are addressing you in kind, they could and should just ignore you. Grow up, suck it up...not everything revolves around you. Its fine by me if someone is pleasant...at least they are triing.

Feb 08, 2012
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Not sure how to react NEW
by: Tooth Doctor

I had a flight attendant call me "hun" recently. I am a 45-year-old woman. I realized she had a southern accent and figured it is what those Southern women do. Today I went for a pre-employment physical for my new job (I am a dentist) and the nurse called me darlin twice. This is Rockford, Illinois--not the deep South! She had no southern accent. I half wanted to say "That's Dr Darlin to you" or "You don't have to call me Darlin, Darlin; you can just call me Doctor!" But I didn't say anything because I thought that it would come across as pompous. Just wondered what it was that made her feel like she could call a total stranger darlin without knowing anything about them. This discussion is fascinating. I save pet names for my dog and my son (When I use names like "Sweet Pea" for my dog and my son it is because I love them so much and I am so close to them). I do not call my boyfirend pet names often and never my mother and never my father. I feel that it would be degrading/disrespectful to call my mother a name like that. It would be treating her like a child. That's my take on it. When I was in Japan, I knew a woman who called her husband Sensei (he was a doctor). I thought that was so respectful and sweet at the same time.

Jan 24, 2012
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My two cents NEW
by: Anonymous

This has been a pet peeve of mine for many years, but coming from the northeastern US this particular form of sexism wasn't so prevalent. Having lived in FL for many years now I find it much more common, and at my (female) doctor's office its use is ubiquitous, tacked on literally to every sentence spoken to me by the staff.

Once when a supermarket cashier was addressing the man ahead of me as "sir" but switched to "hon" when she addressed me, I asked her why she did that. Of course she took offense and she then corrected herself and called me "ma'am" in an exaggerated tone. I told her that it was not that I had a great need to be addressed formally but that I wanted her to think about what that says about her own attitude—why does she grant the male the respect of the formality but the female not? Whether or not it made an impression I'll never know.

I didn't appreciate it when I was a young woman addressed that way by older men in a business setting (who, thanks to the women's movement, learned that it was not politically correct) or older women, and I don't appreciate it now that I am in my 60's, particularly when it is done by younger women who, in a business setting, should know better, southern cultured or not.

Dec 04, 2011
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Being called sweetie pisses me off NEW
by: Anonymous

I am from a big city and that was popular about 10 years ago and I found it annoying then. I moved to a small town and apparently they think its the thing to do here. When I go to the convenience store they call me "honey"...when I take my dog to the vet..they call me "swetie" The way I see it these women have no self esteem and it makes them feel better to call others "such endearing terms" I think its extremely rude and very annoying

Sep 22, 2011
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Forgetful about names?
by: J.R.

Hello Anne.
I thought I'd throw in my own two cents.
Personally, I am terrible with names and because I work with children, I can get away with calling them "kiddo" when I forget. So I'm just wondering, maybe this woman has such a terrible time with names that she uses pet names instead.

Aug 26, 2011
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Honey, sweetie, etc.
by: Anonymous

I'm also guilty of the same with females only. So do all my family, friends, and even when I go to the store or someplace in public, I'll hear it from the salespeople. Doesn't bother me at all. However, I recently started a new job. There is a young lady in the office that has been training me. I'm 55 and I know she is younger than me by at least 10 years. She was really stressed out today as she was by herself in the office and I felt bad that I needed to take up her time to ask her some questions about what I was working on. I must have said something like, "oh, that's ok, don't worry about it right now, sweetie, I know you're busy". Well, she shot back in her chair and said, "You know, you really have to stop with the honeys and sweeties and dears. It's a pet peeve of mine to be called that and it makes me feel very defensive". Well, I apologized and told her that I had no intention of offending her. I told her that I knew I said it alot and that it was probably a bad habit to say it all the time. I also told her that I say it so frequently that I am not even aware of half the time of saying it. I then told her that she had my permission to point it out to me the next time I said it and that I will do my best to not use those words with her in the future. Now, I didn't say this to her but do you want to know what I really think after having thought about it all day??? I think the way she approached me was much more condenscending than any "huns" or "dears" that I ever threw her way. My intent was never to offend, but what she said and how she said it was intentional and it really did hurt my feelings. She could have approached me in a different way. Also, the fact that she was SO offended is more about her problem than mine. Very judgemental individual is my impression of her from here on out. I'll do my best to monitor myself when I speak with her. Since I don't use those words with people I don't like, males, or people I don't respect, I'll now think of her as an old drunken sailor whenever I speak to her.....My advice, Ann, is to just approach the young lady differently and acknowledge to her that you know that she probably doesn't even know how much she says it and that she doesn't mean to offend anyone. Then just point it out to her when she says it, repeating what she says almost jokingly. Precede it by saying, "oh, there goes, you called me....again". I know I say it a lot more when I'm stressed and don't even really realize it. Perhaps the same is happening to her.

Aug 12, 2011
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Gulity as charged, sweetie!
by: Anonymous

You will all hate this, but I am guilty of the honey, sweetie, darling talk. I am 50 and have been doing this for most of my life - yes, I know you all are cringing - it makes me cringe a little too realize that you all hate it so much. I was raised by a very southern belle. These words are part of our vocabulary and are considered terms of endearment. I don't say them to just anyone, would never use them to speak to my boss, minister, police officer, President Obama, kids' teachers, etc. If I use one of these words when speaking to you, it is because I like you very much, value your friendship, am happy I work with you, and think you a great deal of you. I mean no harm or disrespect, and would rather die than insult you. Going forward, I will try my best to refrain from this form of speaking as it seems to offend so many people, but promise me that you will give it a second thought when someone says it to you and consider that they think you are a very special person in their eyes. "-)

Jun 22, 2011
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Problems about words Honey and Darling
by: Anonymous

I'm a woman .. i have boyfriend name is Willie Worthy.. he works at Torrance memorial hospital pcu 7.. one day i hear my boyfriend talk with nurse in his phone because he bye to me but forget turn off his phone so i hear my boyfriend said to nurse woman Honey and that girl said to my boyfriend Darling..and i hear they talk together very sweet and finally i hear that girl talk to my boyfriend very clearly that " you use phone for internet.. and i hear my boyfriend and that girl laugh together very happy..and not so long my boyfriend say hello in phone and i said i hear every things.. he said he called the patient 90 years Honey ..and i wanted talk with that patient and he ok but the voice diffrent from that girl and i ask over and over about that girl and he answer me that her name is Lynda .. she is travel nurse go to Torrance hospital that day and i still ask him about the relationship with Willie and Lynda travel nurse .. he said just greeting but the voice of them very sweet together and he told me he shall go to marry with me in this December but we still talking about Lynda why my boyfriend called her Honey and she called Willie Worthy is Darling and i called to ask many nurses in his work about Lynda travel nurse .. every one know about her.. and Willie Worthy ever let some woman explain me about the Words Honey and Darling i understand it just nice greeting and i asked that woman that she know Lynda travel nurse or not?? she said know Lynda and she has husband already and my boyfriend said he meet Lynda not often if he meet Lynda again he let me talk to her and finally we give up marriage because he tell me today that he make name of Lynda for let me stop to asked him in that day so i confuse that so long time i called very often to his work and every nurses said they know about Lynda travel nurse go to that hospital in that day and she marriage already and every one in his work talk to me very nice and know i call from where and i am Willie's girlfriend and today Willie Worthy said he makes name of Lynda in that day ..it about 4 months we talk about Lynda but today Willie said make name of Lynda and the truth is he did not know that nurse who he calls Honey what is her name??? every one read my letter and maybe laugh because Willie big lie to me and i don't know what words he lies what words he said truth so i give up to marry with him and this is my truth about words Honey and Darling make me still single don't marry with Willie but i'm ok because the voice of Lynda and Willie very sweet i recorded the sound which i hear in phone to listen very often and he said he doesn't close to Lynda but Lynda said Willie use phone for internet and laugh together very happy but Willie said not close to Lynda and not let Lynda see the phone too .. very funny .. i beg everyone's pardon for read my letter but this is the probleams which words Honey and Darling in feeling not just greeting.

May 20, 2011
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Stop calling me honey at work
by: Anonymous

Anne, I totally agree with you, and I am being called honey, sweetheart, sweet, and darling, while at work. Can you not talk to the manager who over heard you, and tell him the problem is still going on. Maybe he can talk to her, and tell her several people have complained about her manner at work. Mention you have politely asked her to call you by your name.

Dec 19, 2010
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I am having this problem right now
by: Anonymous

I have an employee who does the exact same thing and I am the owner of the business. I believe the habit comes because the person is in an abusive relationship and she uses this kind of language as avoidance behavior. Even though I understand it, it annoys me terribly. I have no solution.

Apr 06, 2010
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Sugar Coated Bully the worst kind!
by: Anonymous

Anne, does she do that to everyone or just you? It is a very subtle form of bullying and then she can play innocent and pretend she is confused that you would be offended by such endearing names. So very condesending of her to speak to a women of more maturity and experience in such a phony manner.

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