Over bearing friend


(Minneapolis)

I have a "friend" who asked me to start a book club with her.

I asked a bunch of my friends, all of her supposed friends backed out last minute.

Turns out she doesn't have any friends. We have met for the book club once a month for a year.
I have seen a different side of this friend and no longer want her part of my life.

I think she used me to make connections. She is trying to be best friends with all my friends, buying inappropriate gifts, asking everybody to do things outside of book club.

Nobody is interested, nobody likes her. This has been stated to me out right. Everybody is tired of the constant invites and are starting to feel obligated to do things with her out of guilt.

This month one of the women in book club is celebrating her 40th birthday. My "friend" found out about it and bought an expensive bottle of wine for her, expecting everybody in book club to go in on it with her.

When I told her no she got mad and said that we've all been in book club for a year now and we are all really great friends and we should celebrate life's big moments together. I think the woman has serious emotional problems.

Everybody wants her out of book club and I want her out of my life. Biggest problem is she is my neighbor. I don't know what to do because I don't want things to be awkward. I have to see her every day at the bus stop.

Comments for Over bearing friend

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments
Oct 01, 2009
 Breaking Up With Friends
by: Eunice

Breaking up with friends is a never easy thing to do.

I often get conflicted because inside you, you want to be nice but also, you are going crazy.

It's even worse if you have to see the person everyday.

I suggest you dissolve the book club, and you slowly distance yourself away from her. You can still be friendly but limit your actual social gatherings with her from once in 2 months, then once in 4 months and then meet up once in a long while. This is of course in hope that she gets the idea and find friends that are more 'in tune' with her style.

Of course it can get very nasty and confrontational. If you are being confronted, just be honest but kind and say that "doing those social things" with her are not really your thing. Say she's better off finding other people who are more into it to hang out with her.

When you meet her at the bus stop, simply be friendly, say hello etc but remember you are not obligated to take it further than that.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Ask a Question.
Facebook

Don't Miss Important Updates
Subscribe via email
Subscribe to
Elegant Letters
Email

Name

Then

I keep this private.
Subscribe to my blog.
Latest Entries
Jun 19, 2016

Class Distinctions and Bridging the Gap - The Up Series Documentary. "Give me the child until he is seven, and I will show you the man."

This is about Class Distinctions and Bridging the Gap as documented by The Up Series Documentary. In this documentary, the findings show how unfortunately equal opportunities do not exist for every person, however, it gives us more reason to realizeand believe that by making a focused and educated change, there can be greater social mobility and we can all overcome obstacles, defying limitations of financial background and upbringing.

Continue reading "Class Distinctions and Bridging the Gap - The Up Series Documentary. "Give me the child until he is seven, and I will show you the man.""

Mar 07, 2016

An Accomplished Lady - As defined by Jane Austen

Who is the accomplished lady? Jane Austen tells us who deserves the respect and praise of being educated, refined and accomplished.

Continue reading "An Accomplished Lady - As defined by Jane Austen"

Nov 23, 2015

How To Be Gentle

Lessons on how to be gentle derived from elegant women whose poise and grace inspire us.

Continue reading "How To Be Gentle"

Oct 05, 2015

An Elegant Style - Designer or Non designer

Recently, I've been inspired by the non-designer elegant woman. Somehow I choose now to reflect who I am and my current place in society more accurately with the things I put on my back. This is just how I define my own personal brand of elegance and elegant style. Read about the inspiration behind that.

Continue reading "An Elegant Style - Designer or Non designer"

Aug 18, 2015

A Woman of Grace

The mesage of grace: Be known as a woman of grace. Hold yourself to a standard of grace, not perfection and remember to extend that same measure of grace to others.

Continue reading "A Woman of Grace"

Aug 18, 2015

Lovely Quotes: How to be Lovely

Lovely Quotes on how to be feminine, fair and lovely - Daily inspirations on how lovely it is to be a woman!

Continue reading "Lovely Quotes: How to be Lovely"