Manners & Etiquette

The Excellency of Manners

women listening to each other
The Refinery of Your Manners Belongs To You
The hostess with the most

The root of exquisite manners is kindness. And that is the simple truth.
Etiquette comes naturally when we are kind and considerate. If you can learn how to put yourself in another person’s shoe, you are already in the know. That really is all we have to do.

My Favourite Manners Today

  1. Ask yourself, if I were…(other person’s shoes)
  2. Never interrupt when someone is talking.
  3. Be sensitive to feelings. If you sense embarrassment or that she is uncomfortable, quickly change the subject.
  4. Quickly apologize when you’ve made an error.
  5. Be direct and firm if you have to but kindly.
  6. Never assume! Don’t make assumptions about anything! Read my next article on common mistakes.
  7. Always say please and thank you, say your greetings and goodbyes. Make an effort to talk to even the shyest, most awkward person in the room.
  8. Give praise when praise is due. Learn to give a little heartfelt praise.
  9. Never draw attention to yourself. Or take over the conversation. Or dominate the conversation.
  10. Encourage one another! We all need it.
  11. elegant baby shoes
    Put yourself in someone else’s shoes
  12. Don’t be too hard on others when people make mistakes.
  13. When offended, don’t take offense.
  14. Pretend not to notice or make light of the situation when someone is caught in a awkward position like when she falls, knocks over a bottle of wine, sneezes, coughs, or has a pimple.
  15. Do not stare!
  16. Do not laugh at people.
  17. Do not be a snob.
  18. Do not ask what brand of clothes or shoes or how much it costs.

More tips can be found on guidelines of etiquette

Want to improve your manners? Read on or take a test!

See also Teaching Manners to Your Children

Embarrassed to Be Poor or Rich

women listening to each other
Try to see things from another’s perspective

I’ve friends who are embarrassed to be poor AND to be rich. It is all relative, isn’t it? I’ve experienced the two ends of the spectrum.

In my experience, I’ve been embarrassed especially when I have over-indulged myself in luxury bags and shoes. When asked how much did I pay for it? I’ll confess the price, much to my embarrassment.

During university, I had a small budget for shopping. I’ll always remember this mean girl who always made me feel poor. She who wore designers often inquired what designer I was wearing, from shoes to bags etc. I remember once, she pointed and laughed at the brand of bag I was carrying, exclaiming loudly to my friends that that brand was such a teeny-bopper brand. It was bad manners.

It was an awful experience! Remembering it keeps me in check. Because people are important. I will never point out any thing that may cause embarrassment. I will pretend not to notice, if I have to.

Some education in some good old fashioned manners today will help!

See also The Difference Between Etiquette and Manners

A List Of Good Manners

  1. Never look down on anyone. You’ll find yourself to be in a rude awakening because many people are not what they seem.
  2. Never be rude!
  3. Treat salespeople nicely! Be firm and smile especially when they become pushing.
  4. Be very sensitive if you ever talk about money. Try to avoid it.
  5. Always express gratitude and appreciation especially if the person has spent time on it. You can recover money but you can never recover time.
  6. Stay calm, never be in a hurry and never rush others.
  7. See How to be a lady.

  8. Think before you speak!
  9. Pay attention to the person speaking to you or if you are at a wedding, event, give your attention to it.
  10. Look into eye of the person talking to you.

See more lists of good manners

Manners Are A Form Of Beauty

When you have excellent manners, it communicates who you are. I am convinced it makes you beautiful! Have you ever seen a sour face? Speak to the person and she responds with a bite! Speak to a smiley, warm face and you’re likely to get a friendly response.

Manners communicate the beauty of a beautiful soul. It brings beauty out of a plain person indeed. In my opinion, Audrey Hepburn isn’t classically beautiful but her heart, grace, and kindness shone out through ever pore of her being. She had the finest manners.

And lastly,

Exquisite manners are genuine

Haven’t we all met people whose polite mannerisms is like soulless clockwork, a mechanical robot. Those comes from learning a set of rules whose heart does not agree with.

It’s like when you meet someone and she smiles at you. But the smile doesn’t quite reach the eyes. She is smiling mechanically and is not necessarily happy to see you.

Be authentic.

Be kind. Lose that self consciousness. Consider other people’s feelings.

“I think the second-meanest thing you can say to somebody is ‘You look tired’.” – Julia Roberts

Do you have a question on etiquette? Write to our elegant community!

Thank you for reading ‘Refined Manners’!

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