A List Of Good Manners
Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter which fork you use. ~Emily Post
The test of good manners is to be patient with bad ones. ~Gabirol (Solomon ben Yehuda ibn Gabirol), The Choice of Pearls
A List Of Good Manners & Common Courtesies
Courtesies evolve as society changes, though the root of courtesy is kindness and consideration for others.
In the list of good manners, I realized that it is the ‘little things’ that matter the most. Little gestures make a world of difference.
Good Old Fashioned Manners
- Saying please and thank you
- Not intentionally embarrassing another
- Not talking only about oneself
- Not gossiping
- Not prying
- Not asking personal questions
- Not staring
- Not pointing at someone
- Dressing appropriately
- Not talking loudly
- Not asking intrusive personal questions
Manners Today, A List of Good Manners
from Emily Post Manners
In her book “Emily Post on Etiquette”, she writes about how a common slogan, “Practice Random Acts of Kindness” provoked her thoughts.
Kindness and courtesy needn’t always be deliberate and planned. Spontaneous kindness is an attribute of a person who already is well-mannered and courteous and whose natural instinct for courtesy is demonstrated in everything he or she does.
That is certainly true, though I think it is the other way round.
Manners, Etiquette and Courtesy, rather are attributes of kindness. But I get her point, kindness and courtesy should flow and need not be deliberate or planned. A kind and well mannered person acts the same way when nobody is looking.
Though, she adds,
When we get so busy and absorbed in what we have to do, it is nice to have a reminder that acts of kindness make our world a pleasanter place to live.
Greeting Manners Today
A list of Good Greeting Manners:
- Repeat that person’s name when introduced to you
- Remember their name!
- ask How are you?
- Answer your questions with positivity
- Respect boundaries especially if it is a first time meeting
- Say nice to meet you, lovely meeting you.
See also Manners Lessons Plans for teaching manners to children.
Eating, Dining Manners Today
A list of Good Dining Manners
- Sit with good posture
- Lay the napkin on your lap
- Start eating only when the host has started
- If there is no obvious ‘host’, wait for everyone else before you start eating.
- Keep your mouth closed when chewing.
- Take small bites.
- Eat quietly.
- Say excuse me when you have to use the restroom
- Keep your area clean and tidy.
- No double dipping unless you are dining with a culture where all the dishes are shared.
See French Table Manners, Ten Common Dining Mistakes.
Learn also to set the table properly.
General Manners Today
A list of Good Miscellaneous Manners
- Sit and walk straight. Maintain good posture at all times.
- Laugh, smile, giggle, cry with dignity. Do not make a scene.
- Try to make as little noise as possible in all situations. (when you eat, walk, talk, sit, run etc.) No slurping, chewing noisily, crunching, e.g. cracking knuckles.
- Mobile Phone Etiquette: Do not be occupied with your phone when with people.
- Smile, be interested in the surroundings.
- Dress appropriately.
- Speak properly
- Never assume anything about anyone.
- Never touch another person’s things or children unless invited to.
- To be on the safe side, never talk about money.
Do not slap your knees, jerk forward or roar with your mouth wide open when you laugh or bawl loudly at the sidewalk when you are sad.
‘Reverse engineer’. Can you imagine Audrey Hepburn looking bored at a dinner party, even though she has attended hundreds?
It is generally rude to call a certain attention to yourself. Such as wearing jeans to a wedding, looking sloppy etc
Make it habit to pronounce your words and use correct grammar. Refrain from mumbling or speaking too fast. Avoid slang, calling people by their pet names or short forms unless you are close to them. Speak as grammatically correctly as you can.
“She’s so rich, it’ll be okay if I don’t pay her back for lunch.”
He’s the guy, I should not offer to pay for parking.”
“Someone will take surely give you a lift home.”
“How much does it cost?”, “What did you pay for your house?”, “How much do you earn?”, “How much do you make from your business.”,”What is your commission like?” etc.
Remember, manners are kindness!