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Getting over Betrayal Elegantly

getting-over-betrayal-elegantly

In recent years, I’ve had a couple of incidents where I felt extremely betrayed and going through that period of my life was quite tough. I had to deal with my turbulent emotions, hurt and it spilled over into my personal life when I was interacting with family and friends who loved me. I wasn’t myself and it affected my moods and how I behaved and it definitely affected my level of happiness.

I tried to be strong, and by strong, I mean pushing my emotions aside or started talking and b***ching about it wherever I go and whoever could listen. That also brought out unhappy and awkward situations because maybe the listening friend or family member weren’t saying something that sounded understanding, or it simply wasn’t the response I was looking for, and that only resulted in more unhappiness and dissatisfaction.

On top of that, if that weren’t enough, I had to still face the people who had betrayed me. In one of the two situations, I still had to work with them and see them in the office regularly. I felt humiliated and angry and UNVALUED. My self-confidence plummeted somewhat, and suddenly I was suspicious of everyone. That was not a good place to be in.

I believe every woman will experience this at some point of their life, whether it is in a smaller scale or something major. It hurts. And while you can’t change what happened, you can still maintain your dignity and rise above to be that elegant woman you are.

When you are betrayed

The initial few emotions would be shock, disappointment, hurt and in my case ANGER!

If you tend to be as passionate as I am, you suddenly want to take revenge and think of all ways to make that person regret it.

Why?

First of all, your ego or self-esteem is hurt. You never expected that the friend who deem you of such low importance, that he/she would risk losing you in his/her act of betrayal. I mean, if you had a very valuable friend in your life, would you do anything to risk losing that friend? No! The friend obviously calculated his/her move to would sacriifce your supposed friendship.

Secondly, you didn’t see it coming. Otherwise you wouldn’t feel betrayed. We all have the tendency to be want to in control of our lives and unexpected circumstances make us feel the “loss of control”. That throws us off and this throws us in shock.

The disappointment and hurt sets in because you’ve realized your friendship or relationship or the circumstance wasn’t as good and solid as you had thought. It is similar to an unrequited love just that you didn’t know it. You had thought things were going well, you thought you meant more as a friend to them. What is worse is that you valued them so much as a friend, but when the opportunity came for them to get what they want if they sacrificed you, they took it. That simply meant they did not value you or your friendship as much as you thought they would.

Their act of betrayal may have brought negative consequences to your life. You got thrown under the bus. They took credit for their work. They got the promotion. They copied your idea. They are full of praise to your face but were bad-mouthing you behind your back. As a result of their betrayal, you get ostracised in the office or in your current social circle. Your work gets unnoticed or unattributed. You get passed over for that promotion. You get blamed for something that you didn’t do. They performed better than you because they implemented your idea first. Other people get affected because someone betrayed your trust and things were taken our of context and no amount of explaining will cut it.

On top of that, the betrayal hurt me the most because I felt used.

These people that had betrayed me – I had been helping them and have done a few favors for them PRIOR to the betrayal. When they betrayed me, not only I was hurt because I felt unvalued in their eyes, I was also very annoyed because they owe me! They had social debt to me but I was simply a tool to be used to get ahead.

Warning: long personal story ahead. Skip the next section to read about my reflections on how to cope with betrayal in an elegant manner.

It took me about 2 years to get over the first significant betrayal by two girlfriends. We are no longer friends, but act cordial to each other. I don’t think they were ever sorry for what they did but now I see them for who they truly are. They were a tight knit group that are similar, and use people to obtain prestige and material things. They were not looking for any other friendship because they have each other.

The second betrayal happened was by a male and female colleague. The female colleague was the male’s colleagues boss and even though I had nothing to do with her (I didn’t work with her) – she made things difficult for the male colleague who had to work with me. Looking back, in the past when I HAD TO WORK WITH HER, the root cause was jealousy because I was always commended at work in front of her (she was my junior then). She did one unforgivable thing, that was to pass off my work as hers to our boss then. And she did and is still doing all those political things (such as bootlicking female bosses) and using girlish behaviours to talk to male bosses to get ahead. I didn’t judge her for that and just minded my own business.

I left my workplace for a year and half to gain my ballet teaching certification and came back finding her promoted. I forgave her because I thought it had happened so long ago, and also because in my current job, I didn’t have to work with her. However for a whole year, I didn’t know she was doing those things behind my back. The male colleague acted on her wishes, in order to get promoted. Prior to my knowledge of this, the male colleague and I worked well together and had a amicable friendship too. I even helped him by standing up for him at work twice, and also helped a personal favor when he asked for some help for his personal projects. I just didn’t think he would sacrificed my friend-work-relationship that way for his promotion.

Since I had to directly work with him on a day-today basis, I confonted him about it and I thought I did the right thing. I was a little angsty when speaking to him but his response further shocked me. He claimed officially he didn’t do any wrong and I had no evidence. It was then I had realized that I was nothing but a tool to keep his job. Maybe I’m not worth “keeping” since he had to please his jealous boss, but I felt he could have spoke to me in a gentler and honest way. And I do feel sorry for him that he truly believes he has to play all these political games to get ahead. That is where his trust is. He doesn’t trust himself or have the self-confidence to have faith and believe that good working relationships, quality work and a strong work ethic is really all you need.

I felt all those emotions again, but for a lot shorter and I am able to maintain a sense of dignity and be at peace. Here are some lessons that I’ve learned through these betrayals…

How To Recover From Betrayal Elegantly

UGLY emotions are natural

When you are betrayed, it is natural for you to feel all those emotions. No one likes feeling betrayed. It is very hurtful and sometimes the feeling of disappointment is far too great.

Don’t beat yourself up over it. Some well-meaning friends will tell you to ‘feel better’ by some words of encouragement. They may feel frustrated when you are not feeling better (or immediately). Perhaps it takes a person who has gone through some significant betrayal to really understand.

The best thing you can do to yourself is to acknowledge those awful feelings. It is a natural process of healing. What you can do is tell yourself it is okay that you are feeling that way. Give yourself some time. You will feel all those feelings again especially when you’re alone. Just let yourself feel down. It is alright, it will soon pass.

Should you do something?

That depends. If the person who has betrayed you has done something illegal in the process that affects others or you in a grossly significant way, then you have legal cause to pursue it. Otherwise, sometimes it is better to do nothing although revenge feels sweet! In the case of my colleagues, the male colleague and female boss seem to have something going on, even though the female boss is married. I didn’t know the whole of last year she has been snooping at my personal life – why does it even matter?

I’ve had thoughts of throwing them under the bus, exposing them or catching them…but I’ve since let it go. If you have these thoughts coming to you as well, don’t beat yourself up for it. You are not an awful person, it is just natural to have these thoughts. Just try not to entertain them too much.

Why? It is not your job to punish anyone. Leave it to the laws and enforcers of justice. If you believe in God, trust that the Lord will take care of it, and He will take care of you. Entertaining these thoughts will just ruin your elegant countenance. I believe beautiful thoughts, right believing will help a woman grow more beautiful, regardless of age. Thus, vice versa, you don’t want the sour expression when you’re having these thoughts to be permanently on your face!

Should you tell others?

Yes, in moderation. I don’t believe it is healthy to keep these raging emotions bottled all inside. I’ll admit that I feel tonnes better when I tell someone and get it off my chest. Say it once and don’t repeat it. While explaining your situation, you may come across angry and emotional and that is just natural. Just try not to rage, but speak of it as naturally and fairly as possible. Don’t make up stories about how you think they are immoral – stuff that can’t be verified. Stick cleanly to your interpretation of what happened. Don’t forget that your listener probably will not hear the other side of the story, so as much as angry as you are, try to be fair because of YOUR ELEGANT CHARACTER and not because of how unfairly you have been treated.

Of course, before I wrote this, I told a few people several times in my anger and I regret it. Not that it had any consequences but because I didn’t want to be that person.

Remind yourself of the person you want to be

This helps. I had always want to be the bigger person.

I actually approached the guy who betrayed me to make amends but he just acted even haughtier (even after his promotion) and I realized he thinks I’m unimportant and beneath him. That made me angry all over again, but I got over the 2nd time much quicker. That is because I realized truly that I had mistaken him in the first year of working with him. Naively I tend to take a person at face value. And I simply reminded myself of the woman I am and want to be. I acted as elegantly with dignity as possible with character, and if he behaves this way, that is his choice of being that kind of person.

For the jealous female boss (not my boss), I now know what she is up to. I will no longer bother to be friendly but will remain professional. I have done nothing to her and if she thinks acting this way will get ahead in life, then she will reap what she sows. I will not be that woman. I will not be her.

Go about your business with faith

It sounds hard, but go about your business no matter how you feel. Turn up for work, do your job and remain professional. You don’t have to quit your job or that situation if you don’t want to. Some well-meaning friends tell me to leave, since it was making me unhappy at work. I had considered, but upon reflection, I’ve realized I love my job and why should I give up something like love just because they had tried to make things unpleasant? I don’t want to feel like I’m running away as well.

If it is in a personal setting, you don’t have to be friends with those who betrayed you (unless they realized it was a mistake and are truly sorry, you may consider). Just count the friends and family who love you. Stay with the winners, stay with the people who inspire you. Continue living and working for the life you want. Continue to grow to become the person you want to be.

You may feel okay sometimes, but get all hurt again at other times. That is just natural and part of the healing process. Time happens and only after some time you will start to feel better. It may never go away – you will always remember this sore point in your life. But that simply makes you a better and more compassionate person. If ever a loved one finds herself in a similar situation, you will surely understand in ways others may not.

Have faith and believe that things will turn out for the best. Keep your blinders on and not look at anyone else, or at the progress or the success of the betrayer. Just mind your own business and go on your merry way. You are not those people, and you will never be.

Don’t forget who you are

In your down times, don’t forget who you are. You are a loved, valuable person. Don’t forget others who need you. You are a person who is committed to be best version of you, that’s why you’re here, reading this article! Remember all those who love you, and remember that you’ve got so much to give and to love. Let’s not waste another moment of our feelings, time and emotions on people or matters that are just not worth it.

Keep investing in yourself by reading good books, listening to good music, take a dance class, skip through the gardens, hug a dog or a cat or go for a run – laugh at some silly sitcom comedy. Enjoy and appreciate life – because we need more people like you in this world to show the way and help others. 🙂

Thanks for reading! Sending God’s love to you… xoxo

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28 Comments

  • Reply
    Teajaejae
    February 8, 2018 at 12:39 pm

    Thank you for this. I’m still healing from my betrayal. A man pretended to love me, spoke of marriage and viciously mocked my affections by dating another right in my face. I was nothing to him. I had to watch their union blossom. We were in the same congregation. After he dumped me 3 days later my dad suddenly died. 4 months later a swindler stole my mama house by breaking in, changing the locks and locking her out. She died 3 months after that. I lost my job a week later. Then I lost my home, car, good credit and my health. I ended up moving in with a friend so i thought. She accused me of things that never happened. I was heartbroken. I ended up having a stroke. As I was going through all of this, the very people I cared about trusted, respected turned on me. In the midst of sobbing and lamenting my woes I was told that my mama was sick and needed to die and that I was selfish. I was also told by another that I needed to get over it I’m not the only one who has had a hard life. These slaps stung. My head was spinning and my grief compounded to unimaginable heights. I wanted to end my life I was so hurt. My friends and family members abandoned me. Close to 1 year has passed. I can say I took this time to relocate and start a new job. I have new surroundings. I did disappear from these former associates. No one knew where I was. I opted not to tell them because I figured they wouldn’t care. They sought me out. I responded in a way that shocked me. I said thank you. I went on about my business. I wanted the opportunity to sound off and tell them what they did to me. I wanted them to feel my pain. I realized it was futile. I want to set pathways of love, hope, dignity, self respect not hostility, violence and brutality. I realized that sometimes it’s better not to say anything at all. I’m healing. I have a very small circle of new people in my life. We affectionately call each our our security blankets. My hurt is fresh but it won’t define me. In my heart I have forgiven each and every one of them. I’m not holding hate. I hold love. I did that for myself. They just weren’t my tribe and that’s ok. Excellent po st darling. From the mini novel I’ve written I can say this touched me deeply. ?❤

    • Reply
      Renee Benning
      February 15, 2018 at 8:29 pm

      I’m so glad to hear that you’re doing better. May God continue to bless you.

    • Reply
      Gin Evans
      November 14, 2018 at 4:42 pm

      Thank you so much for telling your story. Your thoughts and understanding were so insightful. I find being elegant and classy are easier when you have something to smile about, however when you are faced with such strong emotion, it can feel impossible to maintain your dignity.

      Thank you for sharing with us how you were able to identify your feelings and rise above them to in the end become a better version of yourself.

      You have been an inspiration to my daughter and I for a few years now. Thank you.

      Your friend,

      Gin Evans

  • Reply
    Kathleen S.
    February 8, 2018 at 7:28 pm

    This really hit home for me. The difference was that it was my in-laws (the entire clan) that betrayed me. Now before you think that I am a first class cad, (I mean, who else can get an entire family to hate her?) let me explain. My mother-in-law was a very “controlling” (abusive) person but I was never afraid of her. This, alone, made me someone to be wary of for her. Years of having her lie about me succeeded in making me the common enemy. This all came to a head a few years back when a good portion of the things being said about me came out. I spent a long time saying, “That never happened” or “That wasn’t me” or “I never said that” before I realized the futility of it. I had cut ties with these people for years (with my husband’s blessing) and had never felt better. My mother-in-law recently passed on, and during the services I conducted myself in a manner that I am very proud of (that cannot be said for everyone). I’m not angry, they can’t help being who they are, and I can even see why they act the way they do. The best part is that I can hold my head high, knowing that I behaved in an elegant manner, showing more respect for everyone than they deserved. At the end of the day, it is only our behavior that makes a difference. Thanks for all that you do, and congratulations for the grace that you have shown during such a difficult time.

  • Reply
    Gail Minoff-Keck
    February 9, 2018 at 5:16 am

    So glad you are back. I was thinking about you the other day and wondering when we would get to read your inspiring blog, once again. I too was in a terrible situation where one woman tried to undermine everything I did. Many people told me she was doing this. I simply responded, “I know”. I just ignore her and become even more determined in making a complete success of whatever I was working on. It made me so much stronger as an individual and a leader. I never ever said a bad word about her to anyone, but my husband. I was president of a organization, at the time. When my term was up, I left the organization. To this day people come up to me and tell me the organization will never be as grand as when I was head of it and they wish I would come back. Taking the higher road will be noticed by everyone around you and you will always be remembered by your actions. It will make you stronger. Again, so glad you are back. I will go through your website tomorrow. It looks beautiful.
    Kindest Regards,
    Gail

  • Reply
    Practical
    February 9, 2018 at 5:43 am

    Dear,I come across this amazing article by the mysterious ways of how God put people, situations and articles per said in our path. two weeks ago, I have to walk away from an abusive boss relationship of 8 years because my love for myself and dignity worthy more than a good salary. As I am debating exactly what you have described in your article and every day repeat to myself “let go” still , moments where I have angry feelings because I got retaliate by my ex boss for exposure his unethical situation and he still triumph by my choice of walk way. exactly what he wants.. Now its done and I must move on! thank you for sharing your story , It just reaffirmed what I knew but need to listen again.

  • Reply
    Sherry
    February 9, 2018 at 5:56 am

    Thank you Eunice for finding my email again! It has been a long time but welcome back. I look forward to reading your articles again sincerely, Sherry

  • Reply
    Bonnie Gonsalves
    February 9, 2018 at 6:55 am

    Hi there and a warm welcome back!
    This is just to tell you that the above story is my story with your name. I did sulk and loose weight and all that for months till God got a hand on me. And in all this I realized that man is flesh and if not in fear & knowledge of God is completely selfish. My eyes opened to what most people do and their motives. After all I is the middle of SIN and the Cross is I stroked out. I learnt to be careful. Now I feel bad for those many people who continue doing such things because neither they had God nor salvation and their gain/success is short-lived. It made me start to pray for them and I surprised myself and so pleasantly. Now those people are better with me and I’m at my best to be professional with them and not let them in again…..on my heart or in a position to hurt me again. God is changing them and as I see that change I am so fulfilled and blessed that through my pain they have gained…..not their short lived selfish success but maybe a relationship with God, a realization of what it feels when people hurt and finally SALVATION. And a fact dawned in on me that God uses even our painful situations to teach us and through us to bring back to him all those as he loves equally.
    And that is a privilege…. as is knowing such a inspiring, young, strong, elegant woman as you.
    God bless you as you continue blessing so many like me with your uplifting work and words.
    Warm Regards
    Bonnie

  • Reply
    kadia suzanne
    February 9, 2018 at 8:28 am

    hi,I want to say thanks for sharing your experience in such a whole hearted and honest way.You give so much insight on how it feels and for some of us who felt less understood in those times ,i guess this article clearly shouts to us that we are not alone ,and we can still win in this battle of being a better version of ourselves.Thanks again.And courage

  • Reply
    GEORGINA
    February 9, 2018 at 9:44 am

    Wow, that is one of the best most helpful articles l have ever read.
    I too was treated badly by 4 friends some time ago. One of the couples my husband and l had been on many many holidays with. I sourced and researched the holidays, paid for them at the time of booking so we travelled together, checked with venues to ensure we got the very best available etc etc. Even got in touch with The Embassy to ensure their doctor’s prescribed medication was legal to take into the country.
    Our two ‘best’ friends risked our friendship for 7 days in a 2* hotel with our other ‘ two friends’ – l got such an understanding from that sentence in the article – thank you.
    From experience l say choose who you relate the hurt with carefully.. Well meaning folk say ‘forgive and forget’ and other such platitudes. I say learn by the experience and choose to carry on the association if you so wish but with new understanding . People only treat us how we allow them too. If it is appropriate, and only if it’s appropriate under the circumstances, we can say ‘l did not like etc etc it made me feel etc etc please do not do it again’ . If the response is positive then a dialogue can follow IF NOT do not give that person the opportunity to lash out , walk away. I am always willing to meet and talk things over but not if it’s just to give the other person the opportunity for a captive audience to carry on the abuse, and abuse it is sometimes!
    Some friendships are for a lifetime some are for a season, it is a wise person who can defrentiate between the two. Business is different, we sell our time on this earth for a wage to enable us to live and pay our way. The people we work with are chosen by others not us , they are not our chosen companions. Treat them with with the same respect we demand. Business is business – be clear about the relationship A wise person gave me this valuable advice many years ago ‘when you are professional you are unbeatable, when you indulge yourself you let yourself down’ . Wise words. I recall her words when faced with many situations both personal and business.
    My father used to say ‘if you expect people to act like you , you will be disappointed 9 out of 10 times’
    For those who believe only The Lord and His Son are perfect; humans are fallible .

    Once again, an excellent article – nothing beats having ‘been there’ to write from the heart.

  • Reply
    Cynthia Francisco
    February 9, 2018 at 10:03 am

    First cut is the deepest! After such a betrayal happens your in a shock, a fog ,denial then you realize you were definitely fucked over. Then pick up the pieces to be kind to yourself, heal , strengthen your relationship with yourself, your creator. I have to trust God , my higher self has a intelligence that has my Best interests, what Gods wants for me. Trust the process. Forgive yourself for investing into these relationships. Take the high road, Be Elegant.
    I

  • Reply
    Confectionary Coquette
    February 9, 2018 at 12:38 pm

    This is my Father’s world.
    O let me ne’er forget
    that though the wrong seems oft so strong,
    God is the ruler yet.

    ~Wishing you lovely thoughts along with best wishes for an elegant new year.

  • Reply
    D. Michele
    February 9, 2018 at 1:02 pm

    Hi Elegant,

    We share that same word “Elegant” in our business names. Elegant Etiquette by Michele is my business name. I was recently betrayed by a long time friend too. With God’s help and reading the scripture, I got over it quickly. She wrote and published a book that included some advise I gave her about life. It was published 2 months, before I even knew about it and we talked often. I’ve moved on and wish her the best. Thanks for sharing your experience.

  • Reply
    Miranda
    February 9, 2018 at 1:10 pm

    Your experience has and is propelling you into becoming the woman you want to be. I can relate to your story. Now I’m grateful for everything that’s happened, bc it’s opened my eyes and allowed me to grow. Good luck. ?

  • Reply
    Shirley Kelly
    February 9, 2018 at 1:57 pm

    These were words of inspiration. I was suffering terribly from several betrayals by individuals whom I went out of my way to promote their career development. Thank you for posting. I will go out and learn salsa dancing.

  • Reply
    Jenny Dixon
    February 9, 2018 at 2:18 pm

    Thank you for your article this morning. Perhaps, it was an answer to prayer.

  • Reply
    Michelle
    February 9, 2018 at 2:35 pm

    Thanks for sharing your story! It is so relatable. It has taken me years to get over family betrayal. If I’m being honest, sometimes I still have some days where I do dwell on it. One important lesson I have learned is that I can try my best to control my mind and force myself to think about something else. Sometimes dwelling on the unpleasant betrayal became a habit. It sucked my time and energy.

    Thankfully time really gives perspective. After years of going over the same situations over and over in my mind one day I just had this epiphany that I was not responsible for this certain aspect that I had been blaming myself for. That took years! But I was grateful for this insight.

    Forgiveness is so hard, and I am trying to learn, to be more graceful in my life rather than someone who just lives their life saying, “I’m only nice as long as you’re nice but if you cross me, better watch your back.” Living like that wouldn’t make me a good person because those are such primal instincts. I want to be better than that.

    Anyways, this is getting long-winded. I normally don’t comment on posts or blogs but I feel like you understand. Thanks again!

  • Reply
    Denise
    February 9, 2018 at 3:54 pm

    I am sorry to hear about your rough period. And I am glad to see you back at the blog, writing about your experience. Looking forward to more of your writing.
    When I encounter nasty people or people who betray me, I always ask myself, “5 years down the road, when you look back to this period, will all these matter?” Inevitably, the answer is always, “Nah… all these won’t matter at all. I would be laughing at it.” It is easy to laugh about the pettiness of life and let things go when I put it into a much wider perspective.
    I also always tell myself… for every moment I spent being hurt, angry and resentful of these petty people, I am taking away that moment from doing things I love with people I love and who love me too. Not worth it. Already, these nasty people have proven to be a huge waste of time and effort, so I endeavor not to spend any more time stewing. Life is just too short to be spending time thinking of unnecessary people who doesn’t add any value to my life. It sounds cold, but it works. I am a nice person to everyone, until I am not.
    Hugs to you from a fellow Singaporean in Canada. You are doing awesome, and you are awesome. Look forward to more writing from you! =)

  • Reply
    NANCY HUEY
    February 9, 2018 at 3:56 pm

    HI, I HAVE READ YOUR LETTERS FOR YEARS ANDN ENJOY THEM VERY MUCH. I HAVE EXPERIENCED THESE FEELINGS WITH 30 YEARS OF MARRIAGE WHICH IDID NOT BELIEVE IN DIVORCE AND STAYED. ONLY GOD CHANGED ME AND GOT ME THROUGH. I CAN RELATE TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY WHO GET TIRED OF YOUR SHARING , FUSSING AND COMPLAINING TO THEM. I AM A BETTER PERSON BECAUSE OF WHAT GOD DID THRU ME IN MY TIME OF BETRAYAL . I CAN ONLY SAY KEEP YOUR FAITH AND KNOW THAT WHILE MAN WILL FAIL YOU, GOD NEVER WILL. YOU CAN TRUST HIM TO BE EVER FAITHFUL AND LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT.

  • Reply
    Dalonika L. McDonald
    February 9, 2018 at 5:33 pm

    This post is awesome. Many don’t know how to forgive and recover from betrayal. This is excellent tips you left for the readers. Especially the last one: Don’t forget who you are.

    We must know who we are in all situations. Life lessons come to show what is in us. We remain ladies of grace and character in all matters of the heart.

    When I worked in the prison, I had to search for tools to overcome challenges brought to me by others. I had a supervisor who was jealous of my promotions. I didn’t have any understanding why she didn’t like me. I actually looked up to her. I didn’t realize then, some people attack or betray you because of their own inner battles and your inner strength.

    Become stronger…your enemies actually announce who you are!

  • Reply
    Ana
    February 10, 2018 at 1:37 am

    Thank you so much for this article! I love your writing style.

  • Reply
    Carol
    February 10, 2018 at 2:18 am

    Hello,
    Good advice. The business and our private sectors are, unfortunately, full of scoundrels Get hurt, angry, whatever your emotions emit, get over it and move on. These are shallow people and do not deserve any more of your energy. Remember, you can’t soar with the majestic eagles if you’re giving your attention to the turkeys on the ground. Great advice,
    Warmest regards,

    Carol

    thanking you,
    Carol

  • Reply
    Minerva
    February 11, 2018 at 2:21 pm

    Great encouragement
    I had similar situations and wanted to learn if it was just me. The feelings are ugly and the sore spot remains for ever. It just fade but when the betrayal who never felt sorry come like if they behavior did not hurt your soul, hurst again.
    Forgive myself, recover my dignity and love on others who value me had been my threapy. Look up for the love of Jesus who never fails is my strength. I pray healing over us.

  • Reply
    Sally
    February 15, 2018 at 5:38 pm

    Dear Eunice, I have been reading your articles for a long time and I am so happy that you are back! I’ve been reading everyone’s replies and I find myself in them. I have retired (2014) and had been having problems of still remembering how I was treated, all of the negativity, and how I had been afraid to speak up for myself in various situations. When I read your article and the responses of others, I feel so much better to know that how I was feeling was something that everyone else had been feeling. I have made up my mind to stop thinking about these people and focus on the present and the future. Thank-you, Eunice, for your article. I truly appreciate it!

  • Reply
    Kathleen
    February 22, 2018 at 1:51 pm

    Dear Eunice,
    I am so happy you are posting again. This post speaks to us all……who hasn’t been betrayed by someone in their life. You reinforce how important it is to make peace and keep our integrity. I hope you keep posting, you are one of the best!

    Warmly, Kathleen

  • Reply
    Joanne
    March 29, 2018 at 12:18 am

    Thank you for this article. It was so timely, definitely God speaking to me (us) through you!

  • Reply
    Liza
    October 17, 2018 at 6:25 pm

    Wow. Felt as if you were looking into my soul and inventoried all of the emotions I was feeling. The one emotion you did not mention that I am experiencing is guilt and disappointment with myself. How did I not see this coming? I must have done something wrong or bad to be in this situation? Bad things like this doesnt happen to competent people, do they? Your post was very helpful. Tough for me because betrayal happened at work and going to work each day feels like someone picking at a scab. One day it will heal. Although I think it will start all over again when the person who took half of my job arrives knowing nothing and I will be expected to train him, i.e., take years of experience and just hand it over to him. Sometimes I think that is too much for anyone to be asked to do and I worry that I will be hanging on by my fingernails. Any words of advice on not losing it in the workplace would be welcome!

    • Reply
      elegantwoman.org
      February 2, 2019 at 10:41 am

      Sounds like an extremely tough situation to be in. Hope it has gotten better. Blessings… xoxo

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