Deportment & Poise Manners & Etiquette Newsletter Archives

Elegant Letters, Issue #008 The Importance of Refinement

Refinement – qualities of manners, courtesy and gentility. There are some people who feel that these qualities are not terribly important. Why is Refinement important?

Refinement, gentility, how to be elegant, how to be classy, elegance


Hello everyone, I hope the month of August has been treating you well. I’ve been thinking about the topic of ‘Refinement’. Why is refinement and elegance important? Is it all superficial and silly?

Here is a snippet of the page I wrote:

Refinement- qualities of manners, courtesy and gentility. There are some who feel that these qualities are not terribly important in life. Why is Refinement important?

Day after day, I tirelessly pursue a refined elegance. But why? I try to answer these questions.

What Exactly is Refinement?

Helen Andelin writes,

“Refinement is that polishing down of the human being, casting out the coarse and vulgar and retaining that which is fine and elegant.”

This act of refinement is the same process of how diamonds are polished to gain tremendous brilliance. In their raw form, they are not shiny at all.

Refinement consists of subduing the tendencies to slovenliness, crudeness, bluntness, nerviness and gaudiness. It encourages good manners, kindness, courteousness, considerateness, propriety and gentility.

The act of pursuing refinement is synonymous with learning how to be elegant and how to be classy. A refined woman is an elegant and classy woman.

Why is Refinement Important?

There are some people who feel elegance, refinement and having classy traits are not that important. I’ll admit that sometimes I too, question its significance. It does appear superficial at times.

Continue reading here…

I hope you enjoyed this little bit of food for thought!

Thanks for reading!

P.s. Thank you for all your wonderful emails. At this time, I’m not able to reply to all of them. I assure you that I read every one of them. Take care. 🙂

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