christmas cancellation

by wanting to make it right
(Milwaukee, Wi)

My husband and I were delighted when his family accepted our invitation to host his family's Christmas celebration on December 26. So, we shopped, cleaned the house, decorated and prepared food for the celebration. Our guest list of 16 people included my husband's parents, four of his siblings (two of them bringing one child each over age 14)and our own four children ages 6-15.

We received a phone call on the evening of December 25 from my husband's brother letting us none of them would be making the trip to our house because we were expecting 1-2 inches of snow. Being that there were 5 adult drivers we suggested they carpool to ensure that grandma and grandpa did not have to drive. Instead, they asked our family to drive to grandma's house and bring the food with us.

My immediate response was no: if it's not safe for them why would we consider risking it with our children? However, i do realize the value of family gatherings and we wanted to see everyone so i conceded. We packed our gifts, overnight bags and a cooler with the food i had prepared and we embarked on the 1.5 hour journey. With help from my brother-in-law, our dinner was served shortly after we arrived.

I do believe in making every effort to be with family. However, i am feeling some resentment. Is it appropriate to cancel on a major social event when others have spent a great deal of planning and preparing, not to mention the expense? I did not ask anyone to prepare anything because i know how difficult it is to prepare food and travel. I don't want my own children growing up thinking it's ok to cancel plans like this when others have gone out of their way to prepare for an event. I feel it was rude and love is not rude!

I am trying to just let it go but I admit that i feel i was taken advantage of. What do you think? Should i say something to everyone in a kind way? Or do i let it go altogether?