A Lady’s Etiquette

What is it all about? rules of etiquette, etiquette questions, social etiquette, etiquette, etiquette tips, manners for women

Why is Etiquette Important?

Although elegantwoman.org focuses on elegant living and how to be a lady, and is not so much an ‘etiquette site’, I’ll still recommend you loosely study it. Why?

It is a subject still in tuned with elegance. It is the fruit of manners, kindness and consideration of others. Etiquette presents an orderly way of doing things, saying things etc.

However, I don’t believe in memorizing these rules of etiquette. I’d much rather see them as guidelines. I do not enjoy rules and I’ve never believed in ‘governing’ through rules. I’ve always believed refinement comes from within. See also an Elegant Self Confidence.

Index of Etiquette Articles

Looking for specific etiquette topics?

Do a search on elegantwoman.org

or go to the index of Etiquette Articles.

Etiquette Basics

So here I am, tackling just the very basics of etiquette, only pausing to refer to Miss Manners or Emily Post just to grab a second opinion on what I’ve researched from personal experience, observation, interviews, film history and lessons indirectly gleamed from history, traditional princess training, finishing and charm schools and old books from great authors like Jane Austen.

Definition of Etiquette

Wikipedia defines etiquette

Etiquette is a code of behavior that influences expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms within a society, social class, or group.

Rules of etiquette are usually unwritten, but aspects of etiquette have been codified from time to time.

Rules of etiquette encompass most aspects of social interaction in any society, though the term itself is not commonly used. A rule of etiquette may reflect an underlying ethical code, or it may reflect a person’s fashion or status.”

Difference in Manners and Etiquette

Manners is not the same as etiquette. What is the difference? See Manners And Etiquette.

To be honest, I’m not a huge fan of etiquette though I believe it has its place. It is because it seems like etiquette is a bunch of rules.

Those that take pride in knowing a lot of etiquette, get offended by those who do not. That is just silly. There has to be some sort of grace within those rules. Nobody should take offense
at ‘wrong etiquette’, if you can justify that the offending party has kind intentions. Etiquette, I believe is a by product at the height of your refinement. Even if you don’t read etiquette books, you will
figure it out, sooner or later.

For those that loves rules, I’ll be writing a couple of principles to help you get started. Use them as a framework to govern your polite behavior. Since rules of etiquette changes
from time and the evolvement of society, these kindness principles never change. Follow these principles, and you’ll almost never have to read another etiquette book again.

Etiquette Rules 101

  1. To think for others before yourself
  2. Make feel others at ease
  3. To be kind

Also see a list of good manners

Rules of Etiquette Tips

  1. Always ask yourself, “What is the kindest way possible of doing this thing?”
  2. Etiquette is not putting others first in a way that you completely do not think of yourself.
  3. Etiquette rules should not be memorized because it is completely miserable. It should be birthed out of a kind and gracious spirit.
  4. In other words, etiquette rules should be ‘realized’ and ‘caught’.
  5. Etiquette differs from country, cultures because to language and social norms differences, so never take offense at the differences in etiquette. Respect, learn and accept the differences.
  6. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Don’t compare, don’t criticize.
  7. Social etiquette is the most important because it is about about being considerate of peoples’ feelings.
  8. Also see How to Be Polite.

Wedding Manners and Etiquette

All the Wedding manners and etiquette written on these pages of elegantwoman.org are meant to be used as a guide.

They are partially gathered from wedding etiquette books when I was planning my own wedding. I’ve realized to follow these ‘rules’ to a tee

is futile. You will only garner bitterness and resentment. Some of these etiquette rules are adjusted according to culture, family tradition and society norms.

The whole point of these proper wedding etiquette pages are to help you organize your thoughts – on how to be kind and considerate of others. And especially in weddings, to your loved ones.

One point to remember is that, at weddings, you can’t please everyone. Remember to prioritize. And I suppose, to keep ‘offenses’ to a minimum.

Check out the site map of Elegant Weddings as well.

International Business Etiquette and Job Etiquette

If you would like to be elegant at work

If you need to travel around the world for work…

If you would like to be internationally savvy,

You would need a combination of professional and job etiquette as well as a knowledge of culture.

Please see a list of helpful articles at Elegance at Work.

Rules of Etiquette – What You Can Do

If you can only remember one principle…

To improve your awareness of etiquette or to achieve excellent manners, expose yourself to elegance and elegant women.

Read about them, find someone who is good at these things to hang out with, join the elegantwoman.org community, make some changes today that will snowball into a bigger change in your life.

You can also watch and study movies shot with elegant actresses, in elegant settings, in elegant time periods etc.

Watch how they move, speak, conduct themselves, how they decorate their house, entertaining elegantly, dress, do their hair elegantly etc.

It is better to be inspired and to have elegance and etiquette rub off you than to spend a lovely afternoon with a stuffy old etiquette book that cannot update itself as quickly as the world evolves.

Start with visual inspirations, a memory, a role model. Start with an earnest desire to be elegant.

You can do it! Have courage.

Suggested Reading:

Emily Post’s Etiquette, 18th Edition (Emily Post’s Etiquette)


50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know: What to Do, What to Say, and How to Behave

Looking for more etiquette topics?

Do a search on elegantwoman.org

Thank you for reading ‘Rules of Etiquette’!


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