How to be Exquisite

elegant woman, elegant lady and the perfect gentleman

Many people try to improve their manners by reading etiquette books.

But do you know that etiquette and manners are not the same?

I remember learning about manners in school, but mostly what I knew was from watching the way my parents behave, and my aunt, whom I lived with for a while.

All I can say is, they mean well and have such big hearts, but there were certainly things that they FORGOT to tell me!

Beautiful Manners

I think both the desire to improve and be a well-mannered person is a beautiful thing. By doing so, we are acting in love. Love is kind, patient … because we are thinking about others before ourselves. This way we prevent annoyances and misunderstandings from happening. We do not impose on others. Thus living this way makes our world a better place.

Why You Should Pay Attention To Your Manners

audrey hepburn style
I loved the manners of Linda & Cole
Porter in the movie Delovely

Now, the most important thing is really…understanding why it is important to establish beautiful manners.

Have you met someone you really liked?

She (or he) most probably had the most beautiful manners and she made you feel at ease. She was a lady.

**Therefore it is true that Her Manners are the greatest test of her elegance and refinement.

Manners are wonderful to have. It makes a person beautiful.

Manners are love, they are kindness and are a source of refinement. I enjoy being in the presence of a family where everyone speaks kindly to each other.

What Are Your Manners Saying About You?

Do you know that your manners ‘speak’ and are quite telling?

Our manners say much more about us than we realize.

  1. They tell other people who you are.
  2. How you were brought up.
  3. What kind of family you have.
  4. Your social economic status (or matter-of-factly, class)
  5. Your level of education.
  6. The extent of your reading, traveling experiences
  7. What kind of person you are.
  8. What do you think about all the time (are you a self-absorbed narcissist? Or are you considerate of the other person)?
  9. Your level of self control, the way you handle conflict, what is it like to live with you…amongst other things

Secret Benefits of Having Manners

They support your image

Here is a little secret of having unsually refined manners.

Despite your insecurities, you can rise above it. With your manners, you can appear confident and intelligent, sophisticated and caring. You’ll be able to communicate a better sense of yourself and people will just admire/respect you.

Where you come from or how much money you have in your bank WON’T MATTER.

I love this quote by J.K Rowling

“It is our choices…that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities” – J. K. Rowling

In other words, when you have fine manners, you can get closet to your dream of being who you want to be. With your manners, people won’t doubt you. They might not even have a clue about lack of your education, wealth or whatever else that makes you feel insecure. They might even think way off!

There are times we feel we aren’t good enough. We believe we aren’t educated enough, sophisticated enough, or we are embarrassed of your family’s lack of resources. We didn’t go to the right schools or hang out with the right people too.

Despite all the above, you can rise beyond this WITH the best, most beautiful, exquisite manners. That’s Manners’ little secret.

People probably assume you were educated at top schools. They’ll like to be around you because of the way you make them feel. They’ll feel impressed by and maybe even secretly admire you.

If one day, you get ‘found out’, you’ll realize that it no longer matters because you have assimilated. You’ve become one of them. You’re friends now with people you like and choose to be friends with.

At the end of the day, we are not interested in people who do not like us. We want to find friends of similar tastes and goals.

Whatever your social circle is, everyone likes someone who have manners. They like you. They want to be around you. They warm up to you. They think you’re great.

You’ve become classy.

Manners are kindness. And people respond to kindness.

Speaking kindly to someone regardless, is a show of mutual respect or the recognition that we are all the same.

Being well dressed is pleasant and inspiring. Otherwise, it is distracting and negative.

When you communicate with manners, you’ve considered the other person’s thoughts and feelings. That is kindness.

Manners are NOT Etiquette

audrey hepburn style
Audrey looking lovely.

The truth about manners …manners are etiquette not the same.

Manners are the result of a kind heart.

Etiquette is an orderly way of doing things and a customary code of conduct of good behavior.

Etiquette is like the Law but it is not the law.

Have you ever tried reading etiquette books?

In general, etiquette are a list of (almost boring) rules. While some are helpful, they can get quite ridiculous. It is simply impossibly to remember all of them.

Manners, on the other hand, are a result of graciousness. Having manners is a sure tell-tale sign.

An elegant person, despite wearing a pretty dress, poised, looking gorgeous, falls fast from elegance when her face turns sour as she complains about everything.

How to Have Both Manners and Etiquette

If you have manners first, etiquette will follow. Etiquette are well-thought of rules that present an orderly way of doing things, as well as the most considerate, conflict-avoiding way.

Don’t Get Offended By The Lack Of Manners