Manners and Mannerisms will refer to gestures, posture, poise, body language and the manner or relating to people.
Just by gestures alone, one can tell if a person is refined and cultivated or not.
The reason why we want to ‘smooth out’ our gestures, mannerisms and behaviour is because we want to be better communicators.
We communicate not just by words, but how we say it. Little jiggly movements are distracting. Sudden jerks or rushed, panicked movements works against the impact of your words.
Have you ever wondered why some women are able to be poised at all time?
Do you think they are conscious of their posture?
How ever did they get that way?
The strangest thing for me to figure out whether having elegant gestures and mannerisms is because of family culture or a result of
character development through discipline and education. Maybe both.
Have you noticed how well behaved Pedigree children are? They also grow up to become well behaved adults.
Their use of language is precise and elegant and purposeful, as well as the way they move, fluid, graceful and unhurried.
How we obtain similar grace and poise?
First, we have to go back to the mind. Your thoughts.
Napolean Hill once said,
“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
Therefore, graceful and classy mannerisms is out of thoughts which become words and actions then habits.
Discipline your mind to have calm, relaxed thoughts. This will result in possessing an unhurried manner.
How else not to rush? Plan your time well and don’t overload your schedule.
Training and excelling in every one of these areas require heavy commitment, patience, making many mistakes and learning from them, humility to learn and get through defeat … before emerging champion.
In this manner, you’ll seldom see them yelling, losing their temper, throwing nasty fits and tantrums or getting into trashy fights.
Their behaviour is always calm and civil.
I also notice one very inspiring habit of the Pedigree woman (or man). The ability to control her thoughts and keep them positive. She will not allow herself to get melodramatic with her thoughts. Some people pray, go to church, read a good book or meditate to keep things in perspective.
“The problem is to keep the monkey mind from running off into all kinds of thoughts,” – Lee Kuan Yew, when he describes he mediates “Ma Ra Na Tha”, which means ‘Come to me O Lord Jesus’ in Aramaic.
Classy Mannerisms When It Comes To People
Just as money and class is not the same, Manners and Etiquette is not the same thing.
Most people have manners, but what is the distinguishing ‘type’ of manners that Pedigrees have that particularly stand out?
In this case, I refer to manners as both manners as we know it, ‘how to be kind‘, and manners such as ‘manner of speaking‘ or ‘carrying oneself‘.
I’ve highlighted a few.
What are Classy Manners?
First of all, they know that happiness is the classy personality. They would not turn up at a social event looking sour, grumpy, sick or tired.
They are usually smile brightly and engage in light hearted conversation. They understand how a bad mood affects other people and so they make an effort to be happy. Like everyone else, they go through hard times but you may never know about it.
Another admirable characteristic is how they have the same manner of speaking and behaving to everybody from VIPs to waitstaff.
They do not necessarily change their manner nor save their best manners for people they like.
At a young age they are taught that social classes exist, but they must not treat anyone differently.
“Mama taught me that social hierarchies exist, but we must not treat people differently according to their position in society.” – Lee Weiling
Also Pedigrees believe that feelings of a person is more important than materials. So if you spilled
orange juice on her expensive white coat, she’ll tell you that it’s not a problem at all and that her dry cleaners are used to it (as she spills on herself ‘all the time’.)
Etiquette is not formally taught, as most people think but children are certainly taught not to be showy because it is vulgar to do so.
They do not ever, try to impress.
Pedigree women are usually, or at least appear to be
Calm, composed, fluid, unrushed and unhurried
Poised but not stiff
I also notice Pedigree mothers correcting their little daughters on the right posture of sitting and standing. Disciplined is enforced at a young age. They are trained to be still and seldom left to their own devices to run around.
Similarly, we should always look for ways to improve our posture. Exercises like ballet and yoga help tremendously. Doing these exercises will not only strengthen your core to help yourself hold up and breathe better, you’ll sleep better too. The increase in body awareness engages your muscle memory, so eventually good posture and fluid graceful movements become natural. Audrey Hepburn, who had possibly the most graceful and elegant carriage of all womankind, attributed her form to her years of ballet training.
Posture tells the world how to treat you. – Ginie Sayles
With good posture, you are positioning yourself for greater self confidence, beauty and for a better life. You feel good about yourself. You start to have more faith in yourself. The image you project outwards is internalized.
Little Bad Habits and Gestures To Avoid
Any rushing motion causes panic and disarray both in what you are doing and in your thoughts. Eventually nothing really gets accomplished the way you want them to. However, some of us never realize the futility of rushing.
If you find yourself rushing, it is caused by sloppy thinking and habits. You’ll need a greater understanding and a more accurate evaluation of your abilities and if there is a better way of doing things, instead of spreading yourself too thin.
A general principle of elegant movements is to keep your body somewhat still as much as possible.
If moving your arms, keep your arms close to your side and move from the elbows. This is just a guideline – check yourself in the mirror to see if it looks awkward.
Similarly, you should keep your legs closed when sitting, and position at a ‘slant’ angle. These days, sitting crosslegged is acceptable though the former way of sitting is more elegant.
If you are laughing, giggling, talking or telling a joke, limit jerking body movements by keeping your body as in a relaxed but upright position. Do not be the knee or back slapping or hand clapping girl. There are other ways to express your joy.
Beware of the forward head and neck posture in both sitting and standing positions. It is caused by too much sitting and the lack of ergonomics.
Never ever run or be seen running, unless you are playing sports or doing exercises for fitness.
Classy Mannerisms Tutorial
The Classy Mannerisms Training Process
Relearning and developing new habits for classy mannerisms may take years. So we have to tell ourselves to be a little patient.
But congratulations! Awareness is the first step. These thoughts become actions and soon they become habits.
Another way to get this into your subconscious by watching classy mannerisms of women on videos.
If you watch it often, you will start imitating them without knowing it!
For further self analysis, use a video camera to record your movements and study them.
This process is called self-editing, which actors and actresses do all the time which is probably way many of them have elegant carriage and poise.
This is the last installment of Classy First Steps Online Course. However your education in the art of being classy has just begun!
All the lectures and tutorials will be emailed to you tomorrow. Why tomorrow? So that you’ll not get distracted from doing the tutorial today.
I wish you all the best and I’m always rooting for you.
Most sincerely, Eunice